Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Life and Times of Will & Damoe Part III

Hello all! A few of you have asked either via comments or through e-mails how my boys are doing. They are doing just fine. You know, your average 13 and 11 year old middle-school aged boys I suppose! I haven't posted about them in a while, so thought this would be the perfect opportunity to go ahead and give you all a little taste of the latest goings-on and happenings. Just for recollection purposes, feel free to refer to one of my favorite posts about them here.

Setting: I am cooking dinner while the boys engage in snickering and random chatter at the table. After a moment or two, they begin arguing in a whisper...

Damoe: (whispering even lower) You ask her!

Will: (whispering back) NO, You ask her!

Me: Ask me what?

The Boys: (simultaneously) Nothing!

Me: Why is it so hush hush? If you want to ask me something, out with it!

Damoe: (hesitantly) Well....we were wondering...(he couldn't control his little smirks and giggles enough to get the rest of his sentence out).

Will: We were kind of wondering...(see above parenthetic statement for Damoe).

Me: WHAT?!

Will: Well, did you..."do it (of course it was some made up word that my kids have patented in their own personal language that I can hardly remember and wouldn't dare attempt to spell)?"

Damoe bursts out with laughter and is rolling all over the kitchen floor. I think he may have spewed a bit of Hawaiian Punch from his nose in the process. I swing around with a hot spoon gasping for air--on the verge of hyperventilating...

Me: What the....? Why on Earth would you ask me a question like that???

Will: Well, we saw some...condoms in your room.

Me: What were you doing in my room, and furthermore, it's none of your business what I do! I pay the bills around...

Will: (in his "Mom seriously?" voice) But you don't even have a Boyfriend!

Me: I am GROWN! What I do is my business, and how do I know you two weren't in there on a fishing expedition playing with said condoms?

Damoe: (with that one look where you draw your lips to the side and smack them with that "c'mon now" look on your face) Mom, now you KNOW we don't wear a large!

What. In. The. FUCK?!

Sigh

11 comments:

Susan said...

LMFAO dying..at..my..desk

Tera said...

Susan~I know, right?! Sheesh!

3GirlKnight said...

Bwaaahahahaha! That's hilarious! I'd make them wear one on their head for doing that.

EsLocura said...

LOL but isn't groovy that they asked. you best find a new place to hide those condoms lol

Tera said...

3GK~That is a GREAT idea!!!

Es~Damn...just when you thought the back of the underwear drawer (at the bottom) was safe, somebody has to prove you wrong! Sigh

Churlita said...

Ha ha. Busted! so many things to hide from our kids, right?

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!! OMG, that has to have been the weirdest conversation ever, and I would have loved to watch.

Tera said...

Churlita~I am running out of places as we speak!

BCU~Girl if you only knew how was sweating bullets! Whatever happen to the good old days of playing with GI Joe men and trucks and worrying about the "birds and the bees" later??? Sigh

Pamela said...

That is so fucking hilarious! pun intended.

Pamela said...

PS- you go girl! (large size condoms..)

Tera said...

Pamela...how on EARTH did I not see your pun? LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! And oh yes...I roll with KINGS...perhaps I shouldn't have made that plural...but oh fuckety-fuck, you get the point! ;-)