Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Just Another Manic Monday

Pamela, learn to hold your horses, or as Nina would say, "Patience little grasshopper," I had a meeting this morning. I was going to post this Friday, but didn't quite get around to it.


I love this list and have found it quite amusing over the years, so if you have seen this before, hopefully, you normally practice at least 27% of this list on a regular basis. If you haven't seen it before, I implore you, do as many of these as you can (in no particular order) within the next 48 hours.

Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can on Your Desk and Label it 'In'.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'.

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

In comments...NoR, I know you've done number one before...and you probably forgot your bra that day too! How many of you want to bet money that MrT has done numbers 2, 5, 6, 9, and there is a very strong possibility of number 12 as well? I am very tempted at present to do number 4.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Say It Loud...

I remember the amazement that I could actually read by the time I turned 4.

I remember the astonishment when I was "booted" from Kindergarten and sent to the 1st grade because I was bored.

I remember the day I "realized" I was Black, but didn't think it a matter of fact.

I remember a classmate asking why I was ashy. I remember the expressions on faces when my wet hair turned tangly.

I remember the slumber party when the makeup was too bright...I also couldn't successfully style my hair on that night.

I remember the day I "realized" I was Black, but didn't think it a matter of fact.

I remember the friend's cousin who wouldn't share my sled. God forbid my color rub off and assume his skin instead.

I remember being taunted and teased for being smart. Of course our socio-economic status set us apart.

My violin was a no-no and "white music" did I dare? When I bobbed my head to Bon Jovi all my friends did was stare.

I remember the day I "realized" I was Black, but didn't think it a matter of fact.

I remember the assimilation by association friends said I was White.

I remember being teased at a dance because I did the Running Man right.

I baffled the masses because I wore Hammer Pants...but my White friends thought I was cool...especially because I taught them to dance!

I remember the day I "realized" I was Black, but didn't think it a matter of fact.

I remember the day I began to have hips, ass and thighs too...ooh and those full lips.

I remember the day they stopped teasing Black friends in High School were as proud as could be.

I remember the day I graduated in gold...a 4.134 GPA...what a story to be told.

I remember the day I was the only Black person in the top of my class...I remember my REAL friends applauding me as I passed.

I remember how being Black earned me money for school...and how that combined with academics was a valuable tool.

I remember the day I "realized" I was Black, but didn't think it a matter of fact.

I now laugh it off when Black people call me Bougie. When White people applaud me for being articulate, I let it be.

I have a perm in my hair and wear weave if I please...but, I appreciate the cocoa butter I have to put on my knees.

I love chicken and about some chitterlings too? But watermelon's not my favorite...imagine that...can you?

I remember the day I "realized" I was Black, but didn't think it a matter of fact.

I love sharing history with my children and all my stories too. I tell them they're beautiful because you know what? It's true.

I watch movies like "Rosewood," "Glory Road," and "The Color Purple," and realize how far we have come.

Each thread of our not undone.

I look at MY new president and feel a hodge podge of things...and cannot explain the joy that it brings.

Martin Luther King Jr., oh what would he say? Did you see Jesse Jackson's reaction? Would he react that way?

What would Rosa Parks say? How about good old Abraham? How about Kennedy, Ulysses and the rest of the fam?

We've come leaps and bounds but have quite a way to go. But we have our courage, love, faith, and our integrity in tow.

And to this day, you know what? I'm proud that I'm BLACK...and know that it a matter of fact.