Thursday, September 27, 2007

Compliments of Eslocura

Eslocura has taken time out of her busy schedule to interview me! Admittedly, these were very thought provoking and not the easiest to answer, but nonetheless, here we go!

1) If you can only use 5 words to best describe who you are, what would they be?

A strong, independent, educated, dedicated mother.

2) You just found that "magical genie lamp", the genie wants to grant you 3 wishes, what are they?

I have given this question thought from time to time, but always hoped that I was never required to do the difficult task of answering it! I guess initially, I would do just the same as about 95% of people would do...wish for everlasting wealth. To be debt free would alleviate most of my stress and worries. I know that I have a strong work ethic, so I'm sure that I would continue to do so (of course after taking a couple of months off so that the boys and I could travel)...I would just like to pay my bills and live comfortably for the rest of my life.

I would wish for the healing and birth of a new nation. Meaning a holistic approach to that including a change in leadership (for the good!); economic growth and stability; health care for all; reduction in crime; elimination of hate, racism, and prejudice; and national peace. Yes, I realize this may be quite a loaded wish, but who says I can't make the attempt?

Lastly, I would wish that me, my family, and friends would lead happy, healthy, long and successful lives. Yes, that one is loaded as well, but whatever, they're my damned wishes!

3) Parenting has got to be the hardest job around, What life lessons do you hope to instill in your kids?

This one nearly brought me to tears. I feel as a parent, there is so much to do, and so little time to do it. You want to capture every little thing that might affect the essence of their being at the right ages and at the right timing is very critical. Anyways, I guess it is really a three pronged approach that I have been sort of using and has seemed to work thus far.

*It is important to learn about love, respect, compassion, HONESTY, loyalty, and integrity. I teach them that each and everything they do in their lifetime is a reflection of what type of person they are. I also teach the importance of treating others as they want to be treated; that 2 wrongs do not make a "right;" and that they must first respect themselves before others will.

*Education is important---street knowledge as well as book knowledge. I tell them all the time that education will get them everywhere they will go in life. Common sense is a critical element, and knowing right from wrong is the key. Education also speaks to creativity and being an individual. D loves art...W does not, but that doesn't mean that they aren't equally terrific and stunningly brilliant young men alike.

*Lastly, with anything that I teach them, I told them that values should be intrinsically driven, and they should be individuals who are driven to do the right things because it comes from within. I tell them to love and appreciate the beings that they are and never let anyone tell them that they are anything less than the wonderful, smart, beautiful young men that I have raised them to be. I teach them that a relationship with God is very important, and that there is power in prayer. And I also teach them to always love with all that they have; learn as much as they can; live each day as if it is their last; and dream each day as if they will live forever.

4) My home is my sanctuary away from the evils of the planet, describe your sanctuary?

Well, there is not much to my home, but I agree, it is my refuge from the madness of the world...a place where I feel safe, comfortable, and free. In the physical world, I have a 1,550 sq. ft. apartment with 3 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms (it is a BITCH cleaning them...especially when one is just for the boys!), dine-in kitchen, and other essentials. But in the emotional, mental, and spiritual world, it is a kingdom...filled with the various elements of conversation, education, good food, and good times ALONG WITH LOVE, safety, companionship, spirituality, and a sense of belonging.

5) I know you write lovely poetry, and of course you also blog, what inspires you to write?

To put it simply, LIFE inspires me to write. That's pretty self explanatory, and I think you ALL can relate :)

Interview rules: 1) If you would like to be interviewed leave me a comment saying "interview me".2) I will respond by emailing you 5 questions, I get to pick the questions.3) Update your blog with a post containing the answers.4) Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.5) When others comment asking to be interviewed, you ask them 5 questions.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I Cried Last Night

The world has just come crashing in
Does anyone else feel this way?
I barely have one dime to spend
Who’d have thought I’d see this day?
We’re at war; the economy is shot; and our country bleeds
Guns are legal; murder is leisure, what an atrocity.

State taxes are the highest they’ve been
Gas prices are such a shame.
Foreclosures galore, we can’t feed the poor
Hmm, what was our President’s name?
The school system is questionable; some teachers don’t care; and some parents don’t do their part
Young children are on drugs; our sons are in jail…this just breaks my heart.

With a plethora of things going on, guess what’s on my mind?
It’s not clarity or a solution…it’s my HEART I’m trying to find.
I’m not happy at work; 3 jobs make it harder; and I would like much more time with my kids
To have a companion and actually be happy…oh my, Heaven forbid.

I’m stressed out like crazy; I can’t eat or sleep (at night)…what is wrong with me?
I sleep all day long and don’t want to be bothered…please just leave me be!
I’m not getting younger, I’ve lost all hope…wait who is that at the door?
Love? Ha! Love, who needs love? Love doesn’t live here anymore.

I cried last night because I feel so alone in this cold and dark little place
I cried last night because our problems are bigger than what put the tears on my face.
So why can’t I focus and get out of self long enough to see?
Why can’t I understand today that the problem’s much bigger than me?
I cried last night for personal reasons, and selfish…yeah I may be.
I cried last night because I’m dying inside and want badly to be free.

Monday, September 17, 2007

111 is just a number right? Well what is it trying to tell me? Let me first of all preface this post by saying that this is something that precedes me watching "The Number 23," and has no positive correlation to anything that may have been conveyed or concocted....for that matter, in that movie whatsoever. Let me also say that it has been driving me nuts, so as always, I turn to fellow bloggers for your insight.

Whenever I look at the clock, 1:11 p.m. (and/a.m. for that matter); whenever I look at the time on my cell phone, 1:11; when I get change, $1.11; the other day, I counted the money in my wallet, $111. License plates, time left on the microwave, in literature, the number of playing cards in the junk drawer, the heat index for about a week in the summer; similarly, my sister's birthday is January 11th, and my mother says it RARELY comes out in the Pick 3, so she doesn't think playing it in the lottery is the "sign."

I'll tell you what (even just seen "I'll" typed is driving me bananas!)...I will not allow it to consume my life, because in my estimation, it's too trivial a matter. I would like to know however since I have begun to dream it on occasion, if it may be tied to something deeper.

In your comments, your thoughts? Any recurring numbers in your lives? And NO for the record, I am not crazy yet, because I also have had recent visions of the number 69 ;-)

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Innocence Lost

The most innocent and adorable face you ever could see is that of a child. They are the littlest people...with the most gentle touch, genuine ideas, and the most inquisitive minds. They are at our mercy when it comes to those physiological needs such as food, safety, shelter.......and love. In order to reciprocate our provisions for them, they pour out unconditional love in abundance and remind us that they are the little lives that we've created and are 100% responsible for...they are our children.

Well my friends out there in the past couple of days, my cousin's Godson has fallen victim to one of the most hateful, most inconceivable, most ridiculously absurd, and most heinous crimes of them all at a tender tender young age of 2...he was MURDERED.

When I got the call Tuesday, I asked what happened. The (new) boyfriend who was babysitting the young man said that he allowed him to get out of the bathtub alone, and he accidentally fell. His mother came home LATER that afternoon to find him gasping for air and rushed him to the doctor. That left me to accidental could that have been if he let the young man sit there ALL DAY in agony without calling 9-1-1 or taking him to the ER? I knew at that moment that he must have done something to him...sure enough, yesterday, it was on the was ruled a HOMICIDE.

There was an arrest made today. The coroner reported that the young man had suffered from several blows to the head and chest. There was blood nestled behind his retinas, and he had suffered severe brain damage before death. All the motherfucker had to say about it was..."Sorry."

There is nothing that can undo what he has done; there is nothing he can say to redeem himself; and similarly, there is nothing that can bring the young man back. A tragedy indeed...a true tragedy indeed.

In comments, what compels one to harm the most innocent creatures on earth?