Tuesday, September 30, 2008

To Tell The Truth...

Well Friends...I am not feeling any better these days, but decided that I can get those things off my chest which I am willing to share...here's one of them.

Shortly after I moved to Kentucky, I decided to drive back home for a visit. One of my friends decided to come along for the ride since I didn't have much tenure under my belt when it came to the 5-6 hour drives. We were not even a mere 20 miles outside my city when I saw the lights and heard sirens...the Fucker emerged from the shrubbery on the left side of the road. BASTARDS!

So of course, he asked for license, registration, and proof of insurance. I was pissed! He was about to cite me for speeding right...wrong! That wasn't all he cited me for.

You see...I still had my Ohio plates, license, and insurance card. And when he leaned his punk as over and stuck his head in the window to ask me, "Do you live in Kentucky or Ohio?" a lump formed in my throat...I began to sweat, and my palms were drenched. You see my friends, I have a problem with lying and all things inherent in it. I have a severe disdain for people who lie to me, and I find it difficult to tell a lie myself. I mean I'm not talking about the little "gray area" type things we tell our kids or anything like that, I'm talking about down-right, straight-up, blatant LIES.

So I looked at him and said, "Kentucky." Do you know that he told me that I had 30 days to get my shit switched over and on top of that still gave me the damned ticket and ordered me to go to traffic court...the NERVE!

I did as instructed, and it has been about a year and a half since...but today, I'm pissed again! As the economy goes down the proverbial drain, and my pockets are getting lighter and lighter, it pains me to see all these other fuckers driving around with plates from Ohio, Missouri, Virginia, Indiana etc. especially when I KNOW they live and work here! I just want to pick up the phone and call to snitch all of their asses out!!!

Am I wrong? Fuck, I had to pay $250 for my tags this year (which would normally cost $50 in Ohio) you know which includes an astronomical public school tax and a "convenient" property tax. We won't even discuss my car insurance which has been marked up by roughly 300%!!!!!!! I am mad as hell...because of my honesty, I may soon be living out of that car...those other fuckers should have to pay too! Including my friend who rode along with me back then...hell, not only did she just buy a house in KY, she's lived here longer than me and is still sporting her Ohio shit!


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Two Posts In One Day!!!

Can you believe it?! And you guys had better read them both...that's an order! :)

I heard this on the radio the other day...I want to know your thoughts...

I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....

* If you grow up in Hawaii , raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."

* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story.

* If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

* Name your kids Willow , Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

* If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America 's.

* If you're husband is nicknamed "First Dude," has at least one DUI conviction and no college education, didn't register to vote until age 25, and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.


Anna Mae Shoulda Ate That Damned Cake!

Well, I know you're tired of me apologizing for not blogging and/commenting on your blogs on a regular basis, but aside from the fact that my (home) computer is STILL not working, repercussions from Hurricane Ike still plague the city that I live in.

As of yesterday, 70% of our city was still without power (some are estimated to be down for up to 2 weeks) and children are out of school for the entire week! I was among the blessed few who only had to endure the day without cable on Sunday, so my power at home actually works---of course we have been lending a helping hand to those who were less fortunate in this situation. People in the community have had to throw out oodles and oodles of GOOD food because they can't refrigerate or freeze it, grocery stores and restaurants are closed (and out of ice and dry ice) in many places throughout the city, and 4 or 5 hospitals are operating on generators! I know our problems are just a drop in the bucket compared to folks in Texas and other parts of the south, but this is depressing!

So instead of spreading my crappy attitude all over Blogland, I decided to lay low.

That Ike is one BAD s.o.b. isn't he?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Hodge Podge IX

Today is one of those days I'm feeling kind of BLAH with a whole fuckton (of COURSE I had to use it and back off Crotch-dudes the ladies have that patented) of emotions inside. I guess I might as well start at the top.

I'm thinking I might blog about this more in depth at a later date when I can handle it better, but a "friend" that I knew in high school apparently rolled over on her 2 month old and smothered him. I think back to when my boys were babies, and BOTH of them slept with me the entire first year of their lives---I was a lazy breast-feeder, don't judge me. No matter how hard I slept, I don't imagine I could have rolled over on them...as a mother, it is just NOT conceivable! They're going to do an autopsy to see if they can rule out SIDS, but they are also trying to determine if they will bring up criminal charges against her. FYI---She tried to commit suicide days later.

Nance had a post up the other day about crying. That seems to be the sport of choice in my life lately, and I'm surprised I'm not dehydrated as much of it as I've been doing. I don't know why I feel so overwhelmed by feelings of failure lately, but I do.

My stupid ass computer crashed last night...it won't power on. It's still under warranty, but I have to lug the fucker in! So I need to apologize in advance to folks like Churlita whose blog I can only view at home...bear with me while I get the beast attended to (I know I ended a sentence with a preposition, but so what? Fuck off!).

Until the other day, I had not seen 1 single McCain bumper sticker. I have seen a crap-load of Obama stickers, but now the McCain tally is 2. I thought that to be amazing considering the fact that I live in the 'Burbs and thought for sure there would be more supporters for the McCain ticket...or should I say the Palin ticket? I'm going to leave that one alone...

I don't know how many of you (other than Alan and Torrance) noticed that someone named "Anonymous" commented their "2 cents" at the end of my IRS post. If you have the chance to go and take a look at it, please do...that Bitch-made, Coward induced a terrible ass ache that day and I wasn't on it!

I learned the other day that I could potentially work here another 5+ years without a single raise other than cost of living (the last COL raise was 2%). Guess who won't still be working here in 2013?

I'm getting antsy. I know I mentioned the possibility of a relocation in passing here recently, but the more I think about it, the more appealing the idea becomes. I'm also thinking that this time, I won't leave a forwarding address---is that wrong?

I'm starting to see a steady increase in the number of people picking their noses while driving.

Someone forgot to tell a couple of close acquaintances back home that crack kills.

I'm thinking I might go out Saturday night and get shit-faced...beer does a body good! ESPECIALLY Bud Light Lime...I just love that shit!

Oh yeah, I am back to my vow of celibacy...I have 1 solid month under my belt thus far.

Anyways...comment away!

Monday, September 8, 2008

To Spank or Not To Spank...That Is The Question

Okay, I am faced with a terrible dilemma. I mentioned to you a couple of posts ago that D has already gotten in trouble several times in school so far this year. What agitates me the most about this is that although he had a sprinkle or two of behavioral problems last year, he kept his grades up...this year, he's decided he would fuck up in both areas (pardon my French).

So Friday, as I'm rushing home from work, my phone is ringing...this is becoming a ritual. I guess W and D are so popular, their friends must compete for their weekend company. I didn't mind this day in particular, because I wanted to go and have all you can eat crab legs with my friend. So hastily I packed their bags to get them on their way.

Saturday, a friend of mine invited me and my boys to come to a company picnic...lots of food to be eaten and lots of fun to be had. So we went and had a great time! People also came to the house afterwards, so the kids enjoyed video games and also were outside until the absolute last possible moment of the evening.

Sunday, D had a Boy Scouts outing at an indoor attraction venue in the neighborhood...we're talking Euro Bungee, obstacle course, inflatables, bumper cars, Wii Lounge, bowling, and arcade...I mean this place is the SHIT! He and W had a frickin' BLAST!

So, Sunday evening, as we're winding down, I tell the boys to prepare for the school week, you know, minor details, like homework, showers, getting their clothes ready, and letting me sign their daily planners...what in the HELL did I do that for?

I opened D's planner, and to my surprise, there is a LONG ass note in there from his teacher basically letting me know that he was missing an assignment and had acted a FUCKING DONKEY in class on Friday! Oh, Hell. No.

So I asked him WTF...? Do you guys want to know what he said to me? He said, "Well, I thought she called you Friday?" Ahem...let me run that by you again...he said, "Well, I thought she called you Friday?" As reflex has it, I slapped what they call the SHIT out of him, but realized as I felt steam shooting from my ears and veins bursting in my eyes that if I whipped him at that moment, I might have hurt him, so I made him remove himself from my presence and I sat back to cool down...and to ponder...

Now I open the floor to you...what do you suggest I do? If that had been ME when I was younger, I don't give a damn if it was a Hot wheel track, a self-picked switch off the tree, a piece of furniture, a shoe, or any other random object in her reach, my Momma was gone FUCK ME UP! She would (as they say) tear my ass out of the socket! But of course now days, it's taboo to do such and governments think they have a say-so in YOUR household where YOU pay the bills and where YOU have endured teens of hours of labor and gave birth to YOUR children...I digress.

I am going to contemplate this a bit longer, but in the meantime all he's allowed to do is pretty much eat, sleep, shit and breathe...I suggest you guys help him out!