Friday, July 25, 2008

IRS: Ignorant & Retarded Sons-of-Bitches!

Okay, that title may be a bit harsh, but I am pissed, pissed, PISSED off, and this is my blog so I can say whatever the fuckety-fuck I please!

W's father owes me over $30,000 in back child support. I was willing to waive all arrearages when he got out of jail, but he wanted to be a dick head and abandon his son because he was upset with me, so I said to hell with it, that bastard can pay! I am not an unreasonable person by any stretch of the imagination, and I TOLD him that I wasn't going to sweat him about the support...I just wanted him to be there for his son. He had already missed 6 out of 7 years of his life (at his time of release), so I just wanted him to get to know him, spend some time with him, and get their father-son relationship back on track.

What does he do? The moment he found out that I made more in 1 paycheck than he made all month, he was pissed---uh reality check, while you were incarcerated for 6 years, I was in college! He was upset about dumb shit like my big screen TV, my newer car, and STILL holding a grudge about me having a child by another man---I don't do pity parties, and I had to let him know that real quick. I told him, "When you get put in jail behind stupid shit, the world doesn't fucking stand still and wait for your ass to get out...that's your problem!" So I guess in an attempt to throw a tantrum his punk ass stopped dealing with my son. He's been out for about 4 years now and I can count on one hand the amount of times he's actually seen him or held a conversation with him---mind you, W has his own cell phone.

So, why am I telling you all this? I have faithfully gotten support from him for the last 3 years, because I prosecuted him to the fullest extent...I can be a bitch when I need to, and will continue to be, because my son's heart is broken. Each year, I also get his entire income tax check to cover some of the arrearages. Well this year, Assholio decides he won't file taxes, because that would mean that I would get the tax check plus his stimulus check. So I called the IRS and the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hello, who do I speak to if I want to report someone for not filing taxes this year? I know he's avoiding child support.

Dumb Ass: (Of course she couldn't fathom dealing with any questions not related to the stimulus checks) Uh, what do you mean?

Me: Well, he's trying to keep me from getting his taxes this year because he owes back support, so I know he didn't file.

Dumb Ass: Oh (long pause).........................Well, there's nothing we can do about that.

Me: Excuse me?

Dumb Ass: We don't bother people about that (I bet Wesley Snipes would tell a different story, don't you?). If they get in trouble for something else, we might find out at that time, but other than that, we don't like...go after people.

Me: (Laughing) Yeah, okay---I'll keep that in mind next year when it's time to pay my high ass State taxes (slamming the phone down in her ear)!!!

Now, I ask you out there in Blogland...what's wrong with this picture? Do you mean to tell me that there is NOTHING they can do to him? You see I'll tell you what's wrong...I'm not on Public Assistance. I don't owe the State or the Feds anything, because if I did, they'd be all over that shit, so that they could get their cut of that check! I am growing more and more disgusted with this nation by the day!!!

Whew! Sorry for the rant, but I had to get that shit off my chest! Your thoughts?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Hodge Podge VIII

Well I am finally back from all my travels and all nestled and snug at my desk. For some reason, I just cannot get in mode to get any work done! Somewhere between the ever so awesome trip to New Orleans, and my visit back home to Ohio, my brain got lost...I hope it finds me again...soon!

New Orleans was the shiznit! I had never been there before this trip, and I honestly didn't think I would have much fun since it was all about work. I couldn't have been more wrong! We're talking about jambalaya and gumbo galore, Bourbon Street, the French Quarter, Jazz, Blues, lots of drinking, and nudity. I tell you what, there was NEVER a dull moment! And get room was not ready, so I was conveniently upgraded to the jacuzzi room with a kitchen and super tall king sized bed...ahhh, it was fantabulous!

Ohio was...well...okay. I had not seen my family in months, so it was nice to see them. And remember the eleventy baby showers I had to attend back in February (among them was Nina's)? I got to see all the little bambinos who are all about 3 months old now and ever so freaking adorable. I also learned that W and D think they have girlfriends who are much older than them, but that's an entirely different post.

On the radio today, they were having a conversation about Immigration, and all of a sudden a brain cell was revived! How do I feel about the issue? And actually, I think I'm okay with folks coming to what others believe is the land of opportunity, the only problem I have is with illegal Aliens. It really does bother me that many take jobs getting paid cash, thus they do not pay the high ass taxes I pay. Many of them are also on "the system" and receive free medical benefits which is funded by those high ass taxes I pay. My feelings are hey, join us if you'd like, but please follow the proper procedures for citizenship.

Still not feeling the post about Wal-Mart guy, but have received a very interesting phone call from the Engineer of All Things That Must Be Mopped and Swept (mentioned in an earlier post), so stay tuned...

W and D are away at camp this week, so I will be basking in the glory of rest and relaxation! What did I miss while I was gone?

Monday, July 14, 2008

I Was Tagged Way Back When By NoR...

So this is the task:

1. Pick up the nearest book.

2. Open to page 123

3. Find the 5th sentence

4. Post the next three sentences

5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

"It's paint remover," Jake said. "That's paint, it's getting removed, what you expect?" I asked, "Can you still make it out?"

I haven't read it yet, but this is Jerome Dickey's "Cheaters" which I plan on reading along with Alice Walker's "The Color Purple" during my travels over the next few days. Hey, I can dream, shut up MrT!!!

Tagging: Anybody who feels like doing this since I procrastinated before posting it. to New Orleans tomorrow!!! Behave while I'm gone please?!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

A Large Order of Crack Cream With a Side of Pumice, Please?!

I knew it! I just knew it! That I could not cruise merrily through the entire summer without witnessing a HUGE pet peeve of mine. Just out of nowhere, you're walking down the street, or driving along observing those who walk to and fro, or standing in line at the checkout counter and lo and behold...crispety, crunchety, crusty ass dilapidated...FEET!

What is so difficult about getting a pedi? I mean if you're like me and a few select others and can't afford them on a regular basis, save a few dollars and get the shit to do them yourself at home!!! Don't ever walk around looking so fresh and so clean...and then jacked up about the feet! What is wrong with people?

I mean I try to do a pedi at least once per week...I'm a big girl, so I have to keep the body greased know what I'm saying?! When I get out of the shower, I immediately grab the baby oil gel and lather my dogs up! It just amazes me that some people don't give their bodies the same tender loving care.

Last summer my friend and her family stopped through on the way to Georgia. I generally request that my guests take their shoes off because I have "cream" colored carpet. Do you know I had to tell her to ask her aunt to put her shoes back ON for fear she'd leave drippings of crusty dead skin and dirty skid marks on the floor?!?!?! Feet like that...amost inconceivable!

So I implore you blog land...if you know someone who is guilty of this crime, please do your part and make a friendly suggestion. Hell add some Gold Bond to their Christmas stockings this something! I believe it is our responsibility as American citizens to let these culprits know that we are tired of not being able to tell where their heels end and the shoe begins!!!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

MORE Breaking News!

I know many of you have to inability to keep your minds out of the gutter for more than 69% of your day. I also know that given some of the things I've blogged about and/commented in your blogs about, you don't think that I am "innocent" by any stretch of the imagination. But, if you should happen to hear this story on the news today, contrary to popular belief and in spite of your chit-chatter amongst friends, this WAS NOT me!!!

Kentucky woman charged with trading sex for Gas Card!

I'm appalled.

My cousin already called know, just to check and make sure---the nerve!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

In Other News...

I don't know which is more unbelievable...the story I am about to tell, or the fact that I have strangely developed a case of Blogger-(Tour)ettes and have posted for 3 days straight! I have known about this for quite some time now, but the moment at which I learned about it precedes my Blog tenure. It just so happens I was reminded of it the other day...

(We're in the car)

W: Mommy, what did you say B (my 19 year-old and obviously from this conversation-pregnant sister) was naming the baby?

*I have the tendency to ignore my children about trivial matters while on the way home from work as I work tirelessly to make my brain shut up, my nerves calm down, and my focus shift.


D: (In a voice with a hue of-I know everything so you had better not question a damned thing I say!) Tsk, Delquaysia...she's naming her Delquaysia!

In the famous words of Nina and/the person she got it from, "silence my little grasshoppers, patience..." Rest assured that no, B is not naming the baby Delquaysia, and I have to friggin idea how in the hell D came up with that, but it reminded me of this...

On my previous job, I worked "in the hood." So folks from all walks of life would come to our office be it to get help finding a job, get help with/as a troubled youth, for housing assistance, and to occasionally take a "Hoe-bath" in our facilities. We all thought we had seen it ALL until 2 people signed up for a short-term program we were operating. One of the women's names was Shithead...yes, that's how it's spelled, but it is pronounced Sha-THed. And the ready for this?

Marijuana Cocaine Clark...which happens to sound just the way it's spelled...she asked us to call her M.C.

Not one of us objected.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

This Just In...

You know, sometimes you would swear that I ride the short yellow bus while I conduct regularly scheduled activities on a daily basis, but after this morning...I truly have my OWN doubts about my cognitive ability!

This morning I was coming in to work. The time was roughly 8:15 a.m. and yes, I know I am supposed to be here at 8:00 a.m., but I have made a particular practice of being "fashionably late." Anyways...I was sitting at a light next to the gas station down the street, and the sign had, "$(blank white spot).99" on it. I didn't think anything of it---perhaps they were putting a "3" in said blank white spot??? Who knows, but needless to say, I kept driving.

As I turned the corner, I noticed police directing traffic and a line which consisted of 5% cars, 45% crossovers/SUV's, and 50% vans and trucks were lined up for at LEAST 10 blocks...I was still confused...

I could have just slapped what they call THE SHIT out of myself when I arrived at work (at 8:30 a.m., but what the fuck ever!) and found out what was going on...GAS WAS REALLY FUCKING "$(blank white spot).99" PER GALLON for the first 250 customers and my dumb ass was #1 in line on the one side---and kept going!!!!!!