Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Just A Few Little Known Facts

In the spirit of the fact that I'm sure you don't give a shit where I've been, I decided not to dump any crap on you in this post...Have fun reading!

Little Known Facts

About People
1. 40% of all people who come to a party in your home snoop in your medicine cabinet.
2. 72% of people in Mali earn less than $1 per day.
3. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
4. 90% of women who walk into a department store immediately turn to the right.

About Laws/Government
1. By law, citizens of Vermont must take at least one bath a week.
2. It's illegal to put coins in your ears in Hawaii.
3. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
4. The U.S. Government spent about $2 million on potato research in 2003.
5. In Cleveland, Ohio, it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
6. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry ice cream in your back pocket.

About Animals & Insects
1. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
2. A snail can sleep for 3 years.
3. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
4. Turtles can breathe through their butts.
5. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
6. A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.
7. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
8. Reindeer like to eat bananas.
9. You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark.
10. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

About Sex
1. Male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day.
2. The average shelf-life of a latex condom is about two years.
3. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than Valium.
4. Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal.
5. Human and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

About Stuff
1. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
2. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
3. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
4. Pearls melt in vinegar.
5. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atom bomb.
6. There is more lemon juice in Lemon Pledge furniture polish than in Country Time Lemonade.
7. The can opener was invented 48 years after the can.

In Comments: Are you a medicine cabinet culprit? Who's the idiot that set precedence on that law in Hawaii? Who was the first person to feed a banana to a reindeer? I'd like to know how anyone knows that about dolphins and humans...did they ask all other species and get an answer? Did they circulate a survey? Which geek knows what the hell that long word is and what it means...I'm sure one of you do?

Bonus question...What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Stupid People

I don't usually post things with a severe political hue, or engage in too many conversations about politics as of late, because it makes my ass hurt. I will however make this tiny little, small little, teeny-weeny little comment...okay maybe just 2 eentsy weentsy...or perhaps 3 itty bitty things observed after watching the debates tonight...

One...Katie Couric and some other dude not important enough for me to know or care about his name were interviewing a group of "undecided" folks right after the debate to see if anyone was "swayed" more toward one side or the other after hearing the arguments. Now, I listened to what everyone had to say, but it occurred to me that...we really have a lot of people out here that use...hmmm...how do I say this... "creative" criteria for deciding who they will vote for. I also have my reservations about the Black man who was on the front row, but for the sake of argument, I will keep that to myself...that is of course unless you want to e-mail me and engage in the conversation otherwise. Anyways...

(Two) It seems that over and over people kept saying..."Obama keeps talking about if we vote for McCain that we will endure 4 more years of the same policies that have plagued us for the last 8 years, but Democrats have been in Congress for the past 2 years, and no change has occurred." Now I have never claimed and professed to be an expert on politics, and have probably been more in tune this year than I ever have in my 12 years of voting. But something about that statement bothers me...Don't these IDIOTS know better than to make a statement like that? I mean seriously...do people in America think that it will take 2 years or less to fix the fucking MESS that Dubya (I got that from someone who comments on Nance's blog and I rather like it) made of this country?!?!? What frapping rock have they been living under? I don't care what party you're affiliated with, that is ignorance at its best and is totally absurd.

(Three) It pisses me off beyond pisstivity to see Republicans mis-speak time and time again, engage in malicious attacks, and not repudiate the blasphemist comments at their gatherings without consequence. But when Obama makes one "wrong" move, or gives the slightest notion that he will in any way attack Palin or any of the other jerks on that ticket, he is painted as if he is Lucifer in the flesh.

McCain kept asking for repudiation...why didn't he repudiate Palin's claim that Obama "pows (or is it 'pals--' I guess I can't decipher her thick foreign...oops, I mean Alaskan accent) around with terrorists?" Why does McCain think that it's okay to encourage Americans to condemn Obama for some bullshit that happened when he was 8 years old? Since when did affiliation with Ayers become a "qualification" to lose an election? And what's more sad is there are some stupid ass brainwashed Americans out there who buy that CRAP!

It is amazing and utterly astonishing...embarrassing even to see what this country has come to. Is there anyone out there who is proud to say that they're an American at this very moment? I think folks in other countries sit back and laugh hysterically about how disconnected this country is and how much of a joke this so called "democracy" is.

Now don't get me wrong, I am a fair person and can give credit where credit is due...yes, I would say that McCain did a lot better tonight that he has done...I do fear however that won't be enough for him in the final stretch of his race. But above all...if he can pull this off and pull it off marginally, how well will he sleep at night knowing that the crux of his fuckton of votes will NOT be cast because he had terrific economic policy, or a fantastic view on energy, or an unprecedented view on how the education system should work, but because there has, does, and always will be....STUPID FUCKING PEOPLE in existence.

Say what you may...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Hodge Podge X

I thought for about 3 seconds about doing away with my blog...then the feeling left me. What on earth would I do without the sound minds and support of my blog friends? You see the problem is that I hit this slump a couple of months ago, and I am having a hard time trying to pull myself out of it. Needless to say, I didn't want to bore you guys with the specifics. And the worst part is...I think I am the only one who can pull myself out of this one...with the help of...well... we'll get to that in a minute.

W brought home his report card...Straight A's (4.0) and he's in Advanced Program! That is the most wonderful thing a mother can ask for and I only hope that he can continue on this path. We are still working through issues with D...his interim showed fantastic grades (98% in 2 of his classes! and nothing less than an 80% on the entire report), but I'm afraid he "needs improvement" in social behavior and work habits.

Both the boys had parties to attend this weekend, and it was at this moment in particular I realized that I really have no life! I mean why does my 11 and (now) 9 year-old have more spice in their lives than I do mine? What the heck (I am trying very hard to refrain from using the f-word so much...we shall see how long this lasts)?

I have a goal this week...to go one full day without engaging in political conversations. So for those of you who talk about these things in your blogs, do not feel bad if I don't comment on that day which is yet to be determined. Hmmm...I guess I haven't commented on blogs much lately anyways, and wait...why in the hell isn't NoR and MrT wondering where I am? I can't say that I appreciate this! You wait until I get to their spots!

OK...here we go. I usually do not go into religion and spirituality on my blog, because, well it's sometimes as controversial as other topics that people often times avoid when they're really aiming at leisurely time. Those of you who have been faithful readers and/are also friends know by now that I am a Christian. I was raised in a Baptist church...and the church that I go to now (when I go) is Baptist, so for all intensive purposes, I guess you can mesh those 2 together.

Anyways...a couple of weeks ago, I had a very DEEP conversation with a close friend of mine, and I shared some things with her about my life's current condition which I don't think I would EVER share with anyone else, and through my hysterics and endless tears, she said something to me that didn't make so much sense until today. She told me I was "broken..." and she proceeded to tell me that meant that I had pretty much hit a "bottom," and before our call was abruptly disconnected, all that came to my mind was..."Seek ye first the kingdom of God..."

Since that day all the way up until this past Friday, I received several signs telling me what I needed to do. And no matter how sublime, it was a swift kick in my shin telling me that I knew what I needed to do, so why was I so hesitant? Why was I putting it off? As we all do, I got in my selfish ways and said, "Why me? Why now?" There are many folks out there who are living lives that are less than holy, and not that I'm judging, but why am I being nudged in the shoulder so much lately? The answer came to me on Friday.

I was grabbing lunch with a co-worker at a soul food spot...you know really ready to get down on some catfish, collard greens, macaroni and cheese and corn bread when a gentleman standing there handed me a piece of paper-a personal testimonial of a man. It does not even matter the words on the paper, but all I could do is look at my co-worker and utter the words... "God moves in mysterious ways."

It was at that moment that everything had come 340 degrees for me, and I knew the other 20 would happen in church this morning...and it did. When the speaker said, "Sometimes we must be completely broken before we seek Him and change the path in which we walk in life..." I wept. And I wept....and I WEPT.

Again, I'm not trying to be "preachy" today, this is merely an attempt to share what I've been experiencing. It's apparent and obvious that it is time for some changes in my life and that I must prepare myself for a transformation. And it is with His help that I will get out of this slump.

I have to do some housekeeping...how on earth can I have room for any blessings which have been prepared and are ready for me if I don't first let go...and let GOD?

I may not get many comments on this, but you know, my heart is heavy. It is time for me to stop ignoring that which has been clear to me for a while now...I'm not sure where I go from here, but I know there are things that I need to do.

Rome wasn't built in a day, so all I ask as I go through what I'm going through is that you not judge me...stay tuned.

Those of you who cared enough to read to this point, comment away...please also include any exciting happenings from your weekend!