It's In The Air

Hello out there in Blogland...how have you been? Well, lately, I have been feeling such a range of emotions, so I decided I needed to sit down and write about it. Amongst the chaos associated with feelings of joy, depression, care-free (ness?), stress/anxiety, happiness, sadness, gratitude, selfishness, kindness, hateful (ness?), compassion, coldness, togetherness, loneliness, and downright BLAH...ness, I would like to release today on the one that seems to emerge at just about every hill and valley of the roller coaster--LOVE.

I just don't know what it is. Other than a few dates here and there, I have been single for over 5 years. I am not really in like with anybody at present, so love would surely be a far stretch. So why this sudden urge for...longing for...yearning for a companion? I mean I see other couples and their ups and downs--the drama, the infidelity, the lack of trust...and the list goes on--so I always think to myself, "Whew! I am so glad I don't have that problem." But some kind of somber mood sets in at the end of the night when I settle down to sleep--as I look at the empty bed and cool pillow beside me.

Could it be the fact that summer is gradually fading away? Could it be that I have been steady in my career for 4 years and will be purchasing a home next week? Could it be a subconscious fear because the boys are at most 6 years from graduation? I don't know...you fill in the blank.

The bottom line is I would like to explore the possibility of having someone in my life. Someone who is HONEST and understanding. Compassionate and committed. Open-minded and spontaneous. Goal Oriented and Successful. Loving and Caring. Someone who will not only love my children, but also love me for who I am. Someone who will be there for me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Someone who will compliment my strengths and supplement my weaknesses. Someone who will uplift me. Someone who will complete me.

Now is that too much to ask for? Why this feeling all of a sudden? Comment away!

Life

Hey there my fellow Bloggers...how is everyone? Life sure has its share of curve balls doesn't it? I mean one moment things could be just peachy, then the next, you find yourself standing on the ledge of the 2nd floor window only to realize that you might want to go up to at least the 5th floor if you plan on doing more than merely breaking a leg! There have been so many waves and turbulence...ebbs and flows...showers and storms lately--soooo needless to say, I need a little catharsis.

Why don't I start with my career...you know I really DO love my job. I love the difference that my programs make in the community. And for every youth who earns their GED or better still a degree, or client who transitions from public assistance to earning a sustainable, living wage, or laid off worker who figures out what they want to be when they grow up and enrolls in school on our dime, I am most elated. I am extremely, intrinsically motivated by this work and honestly even though this is not what I set out to do when I went to college--I have to feel like this is the right thing for me to do. So you may ask...okay Tera, what's the point? Well, the point is it's not my job that makes my ass hurt...it's the people who work here. So I have been spending a lot of time praying, because I know there's a place out there who will accept me for who I am, won't criticize my every move, and will not describe me as "loud and large, thus at times intimidating" in the same breath as saying that I do, "great work."

My love life...hmmm is there really even such a thing? I mean I've tried this dating thing, I've tried the "friend" thing, and although my lean is celibacy these days, even the strongest person has relapse tendencies when the going gets tough. So I think I am still waiting it out. And as badly as I want a little spice in my life, I am going to concentrate on what's important and hope that the rest will fall in to place...someday...soon.

I shared with you that I would begin the house buying process...well things are working out quite well. So well in fact, I believe I will have a new address in about a month. :-)

Kids you ask? Oh they are SUCH a treat! They have also acquired a new hobby...so, on top of Boy Scout-, Beta Club-, Brothers of Peace-, Basketball-, Band-, Mom, I have to figure out how to add Football to the equation. Of course that doesn't count the "night-time" parties that my teenager attends where his entourage greets him at the door. Nor does it include the miscellaneous activities that my younger son prefers to do so that he won't appear to be lame. I have just got my hands full...beyond measure!

What else is going on out there. I am drafting a post (slowly) that I am debating on posting but it will take a little work. Post your comments please, and someone, if you have the time, FedEx some Calgon to me...Pronto!

Flashback Fridays---I've Got Your B*T*H!

Hello out there in Blogland. I had every intent on posting this of Friday, but I was side-tracked 50-11 times before I realized...it wasn't Friday any more!!! Anyways, as you know, I dedicated Fridays to digging in the archives and posting some things from the past, so for your reading pleasure, the following blog post can be used as a point of reference:

http://peruseandponder.blogspot.com/2009/05/can-i-get-2-piecehold-stank-ass.html#comments

So you ask...or you may not have asked, but I don't give a damn, because it's my blog..."why did Tera choose this post this week?" Well, get ready, because I am about to share a story with you.

I was preparing for vacation and noticed that one of my Rx's needed to be refilled before I hit the road. So I remembered that a local pharmacy--which I will not name, but it begins with a K, ends with R and has r-o-g-e in the middle--mailed out a circular which included coupons...consumers get $20 loaded on their card for every new or transferred Rx. Easy enough right? So I called my doctor at around the ass crack of dawn and asked them to call in the Rx. When I arrived to pick it up at around 6:00 p.m., things did not go as planned.

In a nutshell, they did not fill the Rx and made me stand there over 10 minutes while they scurried around to figure out what happened. After all else failed, they tried to blame my doctor's office by saying that when they called, they didn't give them all of my info, and when I asked why they didn't call them back, they compounded the lie by saying that they also did not share the doctor's name/info for reference...only the name of the Rx. So, I stormed off, because I was already irritated, it was time to hit the road, and I didn't have my Rx. I would handle it when I returned home...the only problem is the first in the series of coupons would expire the day before I was to return.

When I got back in town, I called my doctor's office. They didn't have to tell me that the pharmacy was lying, because I already knew that. To take it a step further, she told me how they rushed her off the phone, but assured me that she would call them to straighten the matter out. So I called the pharmacy manager to tell him my story, and with this call, I wanted 2 things accomplished. #1, He needed to address the apparent customer service issue, #2, He needed to honor my coupon which I missed out on because of said customer service issue. Our conversation went something...no, a LOT like this:

Me: Hello, I would like to discuss a customer service issue that I had in your store last week. I came to pick up an Rx that had been called in, but it was not filled because your....(he cut me off).

Manager: Ma'am what is your date of birth?

Me: It's 6-3-** (wink), so instead of just telling me that they neglected to fill the Rx, they tried to....(he cut me off AGAIN).

Manager: Ma'am what is the issue? I don't know what you want me to do about it.

Me: Well, if you would let me explain the issue without cutting me off, I would tell you how you can help me. You see I had those coupons you all mailed...(he cut me off yet AGAIN).

Manager (LOUDLY): A coupon?? A coupon?? Is that what this is about, a coupon?? I will honor your coupon if it's that big a deal.

Me: Wow! If you don't mind, I would like you to give me the number to your Corporate office. Perhaps they will hear me out and assist me with this matter.

Manager (henceforth known as Needledick): (Lying the phone down loudly announcing to his staff, and consequently any customer that was standing there, considering his volume) What a BITCH!!

**Needledick comes back to the phone with a stern voice and rattles off the number to Corporate**

Me: Thanks, and um excuse me, but did I just hear you call me a bitch?

Needledick: Well that's what you're acting like!!!

Me: I'm trying to explain a situation to you, a manager, and you call me a fucking bitch (I know, I know, I shouldn't have cursed, but I was pissed!)?

Needledick: See, you've been dropping f-bombs this entire conversation!

Me: I've said it once, and that doesn't excuse nor justify what you said about me.

Needledick: You know, I'm not sure why I'm even still talking to you.

And he slams the phone down...hanging up on me.

Okay...Blogland, seriously??? Your thoughts on that, puh-lease!

Flashback Fridays

Hello all!!! Since I haven't been on in a while (as my dear friend Nina keeps reminding me), I decided to look through my archives for some laughs...found a few tears too, even pisstivity in some shit that...wait...I digress. Anywho, I came across one of my favorites, and since it's been about 8 months since the last time I "did the grown-up," reading this was almost torture, but I can appreciate the flashback in its entirety!!

Enjoy...

http://peruseandponder.blogspot.com/2008/08/sometimes-you-feel-like-nut.html

Falderal and Fiddle Dee Dee...Fiddly Faddly Foodle!

Well hellloooo there Blogland! It's been ages, but for some reason, I have this burning urge and desire to post something! :-) I think I will just provide an update of the goings-on this past year and open the floor for you all to catch me up on what's going on with you.

With that said...

I guess you could say that I pretty much gave up on dating. I mean I dibble and dabble a bit, but at the end of the day, I think I'm quite happy in my own little world. I concentrate mostly on work, church and kids. Sure, I would LOVE to meet Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now, but I just don't have the energy to search. Perhaps he shall fall in my lap one day and we will join in Marital bliss.

Will is now on the verge of being a teenager...I mean right on the cusp. I'm sure you all know about the longer showers, the cologne that makes you gag, the girls getting all googly eyed etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Oh yeah, it burns my ass. And you see both my boys get excellent grades in school, in fact Will earned straight A's this last time. The only problem is this puberty thing is breeding bad behavior and he keeps getting in trouble! I am going to keep praying on that one, because not only am I "Old School" when it comes to consequences, if he keeps it up, he will not be permitted to do much more than eat, sleep, shit, shower and breathe the rest of his childhood years!

I have finally decided to buckle down and purchase a house. All the money down the drain in rent for something that I will never own has me well on my way to record levels of pisstivity. So I will keep you posted, but so far, it's looking pretty good!

And now for the most earth shattering and monumental event that has happened in my life in the past year...I just got out of the hospital last week. I went to the doctor for what I thought was a pulled muscle, and it turns out that I have Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) in my left leg, and a Pulmonary Embolism (PE) in my right lung. All the doctors were looking at me in amazement saying how lucky I was because the pieces that broke off in my leg and traveled to my lung had to have passed through my heart. In my estimation, I am blessed and am quite elated that God has other plans for me. To this day, they cannot figure out what caused it, but I know that I was on Yasmine for a number of years...I will be contacting them upon closing this post.

So (exhaling vigorously), what about you all? Are you still out there? Talk to me...what has been going on in Blogland?