Thursday, September 16, 2010

It's In The Air

Hello out there in have you been? Well, lately, I have been feeling such a range of emotions, so I decided I needed to sit down and write about it. Amongst the chaos associated with feelings of joy, depression, care-free (ness?), stress/anxiety, happiness, sadness, gratitude, selfishness, kindness, hateful (ness?), compassion, coldness, togetherness, loneliness, and downright BLAH...ness, I would like to release today on the one that seems to emerge at just about every hill and valley of the roller coaster--LOVE.

I just don't know what it is. Other than a few dates here and there, I have been single for over 5 years. I am not really in like with anybody at present, so love would surely be a far stretch. So why this sudden urge for...longing for...yearning for a companion? I mean I see other couples and their ups and downs--the drama, the infidelity, the lack of trust...and the list goes on--so I always think to myself, "Whew! I am so glad I don't have that problem." But some kind of somber mood sets in at the end of the night when I settle down to sleep--as I look at the empty bed and cool pillow beside me.

Could it be the fact that summer is gradually fading away? Could it be that I have been steady in my career for 4 years and will be purchasing a home next week? Could it be a subconscious fear because the boys are at most 6 years from graduation? I don't fill in the blank.

The bottom line is I would like to explore the possibility of having someone in my life. Someone who is HONEST and understanding. Compassionate and committed. Open-minded and spontaneous. Goal Oriented and Successful. Loving and Caring. Someone who will not only love my children, but also love me for who I am. Someone who will be there for me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Someone who will compliment my strengths and supplement my weaknesses. Someone who will uplift me. Someone who will complete me.

Now is that too much to ask for? Why this feeling all of a sudden? Comment away!


dmarks said...

Sounds like you are feeling lonely. That's why the feeling... understandable, too. No it is not too much to ask for!

NoRegrets said...

getting old? ha, try to smack me from there! you want more chaos in your life? nah, it's just life. Hey, you ARE human!

Tera said...

dmarks~I think that's it...very lonely...

NoR~Who's getting old? NEVER! LOL!