I may have said this before, but guess what? Damn it, I don't care! This time I really mean it, and I'm PISSED---to the 10th degree of pisstivity!!! I am sick. And. Tired. Of. Men! How about I spell it out for you in chronological order...We have Old Faithful-I've known him for nearly 3 years. He likes to take random trips to Italy and call me from strange, 15 digit numbers at odd hours of the night...I guess as a subtle way to "check up on me" while he's away. Now don't get me wrong, he can handle his business, and it doesn't matter if 2 days or 6 months go by, all I have to do is dial, and he is there within a matter of moments! So you ask, "Tera, you silly girl, what's the problem?" Well, I think...or should I say THOUGHT I wanted a little more, and he's just not...boyfriend material.
Next we have Office Fling Number 1 (not the IT Guy---and get your minds out of the gutter...he's from the LAST office I worked at!)-He has a girlfriend, but I said to hell with Karma and all that shit because I had just learned about my (ex) friend of more than a decade and ex-man at that time. That shit was off the hook, and we even spent a little time together! He was ever so easy on the eyes too! He to this day cannot understand why I cut him off completely, but the shit got a little old, and slowly, I began to regain feeling in those areas which were numb and had to focus! He still calls, and I simply ask...damn! She STILL ain't doing it right for you?!
Last year's fling with the big Ding...Dong that is-Things were going pretty smooth with this guy. In spite of my better judgement, and all things considered, you know, like he didn't have a job, he was an ex-offender, and his daughter's mother had detachment issues, I still let him come around. One thing that helped him TREMENDOUSLY was that he had a wonderfully sized schlong and knew how to FULLY satisfy me. He slipped up and met the kids...HUGE fucking mistake, because after a while, things tapered off and I didn't see much of him---except at church...and even though we "met at the wrong time," he now has a girlfriend! Fuck, fuck, FUCK him!!!
Then we have Office Fling Number 2 (this time it's the IT Guy...you know, the one from the dream?)-This guys LOVES to flirt and do stupid shit like cop a feel, lock me in the office and freak me, or trap me in the elevator and lick and touch and kiss and shit, or send me sexually explicit messages. I don't see much really happening with him though, because he's just a tad bit...imma...well...less mature for my taste, he's a little younger, and is still living in the world where he thinks he's the shit! In my mind (and other than the dream), I don't think he can handle a woman like me, and there's not really a part of me that wants to find out.
Lastly, we have the Guy from the Bar-I am always leery about meeting guys in bars/clubs to begin with. And I haven't mentioned him to you guys because I thought maybe...just MAYBE this time there might be sparks, and I didn't want to jinx it! After a little over a month, he has totally fucking DERAILED! My honest opinion is that he has a drinking problem! And drunken phone calls are only fun if I'm in the mood, and it's not past 4:00 a.m. on a fucking work night! He "blames" his drinking on the fact that he just got laid off, but who in the hell needs a reason to drink! You must know your limits...especially if you're a grown ass man! I mean we ALL get shit faced from time to time, but I've got shit to do today! Note: I don't want this seem like I put more weight of "physical activity" than anything else, so I won't mention at all that I've "meddled" around and touched little bit "down there" and don't think I can back that thang up on him either...can we say Millimeter Peter boys and girls?!
So that's it! I'm tired of this crap...in 3 years, NOTHING! And yes, I am a little more selective now when considering someone I can potentially settle down with, because I don't want to make the same mistakes I have in the past with certain, unnamed LOSERS! What do I do?! Because if something doesn't change my mind quickly, that's it! I'm finished!
Damn, Tera, that was a long ass post...oh well, I have confidence that you guys who have my best interest at heart will fully read it and give me (un)/sound advice :)
35 comments:
I'm still trying to get past the work pisstivity.
Susan~I think you may be on to something...
Nina~Does the word pisstivity cause you as much anguish as the work does?
I cannot give you and advice on men, because I am clueless.
I once gave advice on how to attract a man, but it was, "Guys like Doritos. Leave a trail of Doritos to a giant pit and when the man falls into the pit, refuse to let him out until he turns into your Prince Charming."
She did it what I said and all she got was ants all over her house.
My advice? Keep finding men to have fun with but always be prepared to find one that will be more. Once you find him, you can let all other losers go.
Advice? You don't really want advice, do you? It sounds like you have it all worked out. So sorry you lost the big schlong. And it's wonderful you have a new post, you're the best!
MrT~Somehow, I knew what you would say! :)
Woo~I think that is great advice, I mean I have to keep my sanity right?
NoR~I am so sorry I lost it too...damn! And hey, I aim to please!
Well I've been told several times that I should get happy with not looking, and that's "when it will happen."
That might work better for you than me, because in this primitive world, the man is still suspected to ask the woman. If I stop asking, it seems that I stop getting.
But I think if you stop seeking you get to accomplish two things.
1) You get to be happy again. That's why you want to stop effing with these trifling males--because it's not making you happy at all. And that is the A Number One BEST reason to stop doing anything.
2) It will make you sexy and attractive as hell. As a guy, there's nothing I think is more sexy than a woman who knows her ish and is about her business with no time for bullsh!t. A lady who is confident, self-possessed, and independent. Not a woman who acts like a man, but a woman who doesn't appear to need one.
Take a vacation from men, Tera. Go back to happy again. Reapproach the whole situation from a position of strength when you've built it back up again.
Alan~It sounds like you really gave this some serious thought! Thanks! And a vacation from men might be just what I need, although very difficult as I struggle to refrain from physical activity!
There's always "Physical Activity For One ..."
Alan~That's so totally not as exciting...
no advice, just glad i'm not out there. yikes.
Nance~It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world!
Hey! I just realized you never said which guy (if any) has a mullet. I say, always go with the dude who has a mullet.
MrT~Note to self. LOL!
When in a moment of doubt, go in the server room and bang the IT guy. It's the cure for everything.
Gyuss~I can always count on you!
I was just thinking about writing a similar post. I still might. how can there be so many single men out there and not one of them be even halfway datable. It's so frustrating.
Churlita~I'll drink to that sister!
Churlita, try being a datable male that no girl wants to date ...
Blaming drinking on laid off is weakness.
Alan~Is there dating for one???
Bossmigity~I'm glad someone agrees with me on that one!
All day every day, Tera! I find that I'm pretty low maintenance and I put out at the drop of a hat! LOL
Oh, my, the pimp is making the rounds!
Alan~LMFAO!!!
NoR~What is this Pimpery that you speak of?
Bossmack - blue monkey skull above.
NoR~Ah yes, Bossmiggity IS the Mack!
Go after the guys you don't normally target. They are probably more what you're looking for, and at least will be different from what you've been getting.
Dagromm~You may have a point there...but I wonder how long it will take to get to like someone that I wouldn't normally target??? Hmmm....
never say never
Torrance~Okay
Maybe if you didn't have that damn phone up to your ear all the time you'd be able to meet more men.
NoR~I totally blame it on that louda ass poinsettia!
Dagromm~Okay damn all that...delicious??? Love it!
Thanks! That phrase came up in my comments a few months ago and something about it sounded like gold, so I kept it.
Hmmm...we were pretty hot and heavy back then...were you cheating on me???
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