Wednesday, May 28, 2008

It's My Party...She Can Strip If She Wants To!

Okay my friends...I sat on this for a couple of days, because I wasn't sure if I wanted to post it or not, but against my better judgement...along with the fact that I am too far away to open up a can-0-whoop ass, I MUST scream on my blog.

We all have that "one" in the family that's just not right...be it that drunk uncle, that conniving aunt, or that "special" cousin that swears his plaid pants matches his polka dot sweater and fluorescent tie. You just accept them because that's who they are, and don't mind putting up the liquor, hiding your purse, or pretending you're blind.

But there is a certain one in my family that I'm not quite sure we have in common. She is not a CLOSE cousin, but a me and her father would share a last name hadn't my great-grandmother married type of cousin. I love her to death and have often times over the years hung out with her. Now, don't get me wrong, she has a HUGE heart and would do anything for you, and is quite fun to be around...we just lead 2 separate lives. We are a few years apart, but she had 2 daughters before I graduated...you know, that kind of stuff. She is also a hustler...hated by many, but I say hey, get down how you live, because her children STAY fly...the crib is SO crispy, and the ride stay kitted. She's my homie...my ace.

I'm a little upset with her right now however I won't express it to her due to the fact that it would be totally futile...I am going to just get it off my chest on my blog...in my space...where I can say whatever the hell I want!

Her son, her 3rd oldest child, just recently turned 13...it's all good right? Right on the threshold of manhood and so close to going to high school...13 is the first "teen" year...the SHIT! Bring on the cake and ice cream right??? Wrong! Not only did she have his party in a bar, she hired a stripper!!!! Several things about this have me livid, but I will only mention a few...um why are parents allowing their 11, 12, and 13 year olds to go to a bar? Why does he have to have a party that lasts until midnight? Why didn't that bitch realize she could get 15-Life grinding on those youngins who half of which don't even have pubic hair yet??? Is there any particular reason she couldn't just buy a PSP and some fucking collection baseball cards and call it a day?

I am furious...I could go on and on, but you guys go ahead...HAVE AT IT!

40 comments:

Dagromm said...

Wow!!! Is.... How....What was she...Why.....Just wow.

Was there drinking?

M. Robert Turnage said...

You know, when I read stuff like this, I think of those news stories I read about totally hot school teachers having relationships with their 15-year old students...

WHERE WERE THESE PEOPLE WHEN I WAS 15? WHERE WERE THEY WHEN I WAS 13?

Tera said...

Dagromm~No, I don't think so...and certainly hope not!!! BUT that bar owner is just as guilty as the fucking stripper, and I plan on delivering a firm talking-to the next time I go home for a visit!

MrT~Hmmm, you're right, because back then, they all wore dentures and had rain checks on Geritol!

NoRegrets said...

Fucking amazing. I guess she wants to be the cool mom. But I bet he'll get his first venereal disease at 15 and get a girl pregnant at 16 (or perhaps at the same time?).
Isn't there a law against minors in a bar?
Oh, what I love too is when people bring their babies to loud smoky bars, with no earplugs and breathing apparatus.

BTW I so did not understand your comment on my cocoa puffs post.

Tera said...

NoR~You are absolutely right, and her ass is already a grandmother!!! Not cool...uhn uh...

What I meant is...you're gonna have to start separating TEra with an "E" from TArA with an "A...A Dub" when you respond, because if I was drunk, I would have been trying to figure out what the hell you were saying to me in your response to her!!! Get it? LOL!

Tera said...

Oh, and back home, that's totally allowable as long as liquor isn't served and the minors are GONE before they start serving...it's a pretty small community though, it's probably something their asses made up!

M. Robert Turnage said...

Your comment makes me wish your relative took her 13-year old to a retirement community and then tried to convince him it was a real strip club.

"This is what strip clubs are really like," she would say. "Funky smells, lonely people, and lots of pee."

The teenage years are really difficult times because the whole world goes back and forth on the "are you an adult or not" question. Teenagers get tried as adults and have to pay adult admission to see films, but don't get the rights of an adult (can't vote and can't buy beer) and aren't supposed to see adult films.

This may be an elaborate trick on the guy because now his mom will tell him to chip in for the mortgage. "Hey, if you're old enough to have a party with a stripper, you are old enough to pay rent."

On my thirteenth birthday, I got G.I. Joes. *sigh*

Tera said...

These teenagers thinking they're adults is the reason why we have 28 year old grandparents! I know a girl who is 30 and her son is going on 19!!

And he should have gotten G.I. Joes too! Or a Tonka Truck?

By the way, you totally ruined my mid-morning snack with that nursing home visual/smellual!!!

Gyuss Baaltar said...

That is terrible.

Please let your cousin know when my birthday is so she can plan my party.

Tera said...

Gyuss~Ha! Good thing you're like 13 X 2...or 3??

M. Robert Turnage said...

Gyuss, please invite me to your party. And let the party planner know my favorite movie villain is Catwoman.

Tera said...

Like do you mean Halle MrT?

M. Robert Turnage said...

I wouldn't mind a all-expenses paid trip to Halle-wood, yes.

I also like Michelle Puh-Ffffeiffer and Eartha Kitt and Julie Newmar and Sean Young. I'm pretty indiscriminate as far as Catwoman is concerned. I'm sure if Roseanne Barr/Arnold dressed up as Catwoman, part of me would at least appreciate the effort. And by "appreciate the effort" I mean I wouldn't say something cruel to her face.

"Wow," I would say. "That is really you... in a Catwoman costume... um... yeah...."

Kofi said...

A Batman/superhero/videogame-themed party would be right up a 13-year-old's alley. In my universe.

You know if her kid turns out in a way she doesn't expect, she won't understand why, right?

Tera said...

MrT~Nice!

Kofi~Amen to that brother! And that's absolutely right!

NoRegrets said...

Tera, got it. I'll put you in all caps and her in lower case. OK?

MRT - I HAD to do a search for Roseanne Barr and Catwoman, and the only thing that's worth bringing up from teh first page is: Watching Tobey play Spiderman is like watching Roseanne Barr play "CatWoman."

Tera said...

NoR~Great! I mean I could just try not to drink and blog, but I like your idea better!!!

Uh...hmm, I don't want to see Roseanne play anything except Roseanne.

Tera said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Susan said...

How did I miss a new post about strippers?! Oh wait, this isn't a good post about strippers. I was actually ranting to a coworker about kids around town. I told him I knew I was getting older when anyone under 21 became "Kids".

Here's one to get you: I have a friend who has 2 boys. The boys are out of control and mean as rattlesnakes. She doesn't know why they're like that...

...she leaves them with a babysitter at least 4 nights a week to go out and party. I don't know WHAT the problem could be.

Tera said...

Susan~Hmmm...that one has me stumped too!

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Thats that Ultra Hood shit right there. I can't say if that is wrong or right, ya dig me? Here's my logic, it seems like that bitch is fgetting dude ready for tha "Life". I can't really knock that to much.

Tera said...

Bossmiggity~Somehow I knew your perspective would be slightly different...

Nina said...

All I can say is that I hope she is ready to be a grandmother.

Churlita said...

I can't believe other parents allowed their kids to go to that. Our town is a college town and everyone seems to be overly p c here. People would totally freak.

Tera said...

Nina~Now you know she already is!!!

Churlita~I just couldn't believe it either!

Alan said...

Now that is some ill na-na right there.

We can take comfort in the fact that our tax dollars will be supporting the generations due to spring from the loins of the loins of the loins of your cuz, so no worries!

rohit said...

nice to read
keep it up
nice all picture

Nina said...

The more I think about this, the more disgusted I get. And I'm more and more thankful that Dev has a friend base that is wholesome.

Tera said...

Alan~...And I had just gotten over this, thanks!

Rohit~Welcome, and thanks!

Nina~I hear ya!

Anali said...

Wow! I don't even know what to say to that one. I can see why you needed to vent on your blog!

Tera said...

Anali~Absolutely!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

my folk like yo girl, and do i need to get a pole in my house lol

Belle - A Beauty livin with her Beast said...

first of all i would just like to comment you on your ghettofabulous words....

my daughter will be 13 in OCT there will be NO WAY IN HELL there would be strippers present. I am trying to keep her on the right path in life not give her the opportunity to be a mother younger than she should, or go down the wrong road.

sorry to say this but your cousin not so cousin needs a swift kick in the ass.

Tera said...

Torrance~Very funny, LOL!

Belle~You like that huh? :) Ah yes, I concur!

heather said...

have yourself a great birthday tomorrow :-)

Tera said...

Heather you remembered...I'm flattered!! Thanks! I did most of my celebrating on Saturday, and guess what? My friends got me a Limo...we had an awesome time...I'll have to blog about it!

Nance said...

I think I'm going to be ill.

Tera said...

Nance~I bet...you may even have him as a student...that is of course when he's out of Junior High!

The Thinking Black Man said...

I uh, I um, I uh... I'm stunned.

A bar, a strip-club, and grinding.

Okaaaay. So, I assume she's not going to be surprised next summer when her son's lil'girlfriend turns up Knocked'up, seeing as though now he is a confused box of revv'd up hormones.

Hmmm, when I turned 13, I got this bad little black Porsche remote controlled car from my parents. Now THAT was a birthday gift!

Tera said...

TBM~Welcome to P&P!!! You said it right...her 15 year old daughter had a baby last year. I know my son most CERTAINLY will be getting an age appropriate gift for his 13th and would NOT have been attending his cousins party if we still lived back home!