Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Matters of the Heart I-Self

As all of the holiday ado is done, resolutions have been made, and folks get back on their daily grind, I decided to stop for a moment and think...how do I begin my New Year? Do resolve to budget better...to take on a hobby...to be less busy...to curse less...to exercise more...to diet? I mean, that's what most people do right? When I woke up yesterday, I thought about it a bit...and then I called my good friend T---that's when the dust settled. I will begin this New Year dealing with Matters of the Heart.

I moved to Kentucky 2 years, 3 months, and 1 day ago. As I reflect upon my life during that period, I realize that although gradual, a sort of transformation has, and is taking place. I'm not the person I used to be. Given the chain of events in the past couple of months, I had to stop and ask myself..."How would Tera a year ago have handled it? Tera 2 years ago?" It was then that I realized that I am not the same, negative, impulsive, aggressive, chronic complaining, and sometimes nasty person that I once used to be. Now don't get me wrong, I am a good person by nature, and there are dozens of people in my social circle who can attest to that. It's just that there were times in my life and certain events (many of you have read about and/know about quite a few) which required me to build a wall and pour concrete around my heart.

I know it is a process, but it was 2 years, 3 months, and 1 day ago that I began to chisel away.

Today, I know that I am a better person...I feel like a better person. Self is a matter of continuous improvement, and I am sure that my esteem (which had at one point hit an all-time low) will improve tremendously as I deal with this particular matter of the heart---Self.

In comments, your thoughts? Your New Year's Resolutions?

26 comments:

Susan said...

I'm honestly just trying to not take life so damned seriously this go around. I have a few things I'm doing (you can see them on the ol' blog) but really it all boils down to being happier with the life I lead.

You're awesome, just by the by..

Nance said...

I'm not the type to make New Year's resolutions, but lately I've been thinking about the same thing Susan said.

Tera said...

Susan~What a concept! I think it would lead to a lot less stress!!!

Nance~I hear you...they only last until January 2nd anyways!

NoRegrets said...

One thing that is good about the new year is that is one time that people might think about how their lives have changed, or not, and what if anything to do about it. 40th birthdays do that too. Glad you are happier with yourself.

Tera said...

NoR~"Happier" is the operative word...hopefully one day that turns to "happy."

heather said...

good for you tera! for me this year is going to be all about balance. we'll see how it goes.

Nina said...

No new resolutions here...I'm too busy waddling to worry about resolutions. I will say, once and for all, that I'm sticking to a resolutions I made about half way through 2007... I'm no longer dealing with toxic people. They suck!

Tera said...

Heather~Balance is good...VERY good!

Nina~I concur!

EsLocura said...

I am in that never make a new years resolution group, I just try to be the best human I can, flaws included, I remind myself each day "to do small things with great love" some days it works, others not so much but try I do. As for you ...yipppeee Tera!

Tera said...

Es~You are always so encouraging!!! :)

Dagromm said...

I'm glad that I could have such a positive impact on you. I tend to have that effect on people, but I'm never tired of hearing it.

Tera said...

Dagromm~My ass kickery must also have an effect on you, because you've resurfaced!

Q said...

Tera, the only reason Dagromm has resurfaced is because I let him out of his cage.

Dagromm said...

Sorry, I've been gone so long. I could say it was because of this and that, but it would sound like excuses.

Tera said...

Q~That's more like it, and don't let the shit happen again! Tell Fringes I said hello and that she is truly missed :)

You let him out of his cage huh? That means that the threat of my ass kickery had and even bigger effect than I thought!

Dagromm~And I will not have any of your excuses...you've got a lot of 'splainin and making up to do!

Kofi said...

I try not to do resolutions. It sounds like you're headed in the right direction. Best wishes for 2008.

Tera said...

Kofi~As always, thanks for the well wishes :)

Belle - A Beauty livin with her Beast said...

good for you Tera! you have to love yourself completely before you can move on to accept anyone or anything else.

Cyber D said...

New Year's resolutions are for the weak minded! CyberD doesn't change anything about himself. Well, except from this point forward CyberD will refer to himself in the third person.

Tera said...

Belle~And sometimes it is the hardest task to accomplish!

Cyber~Tera loves. Doing. That!

NoRegrets said...

Tagged you for a meme. Get back out here.

Susan said...

Where are you hiding?

Anali said...

Happy New Year Tera! I think this is going to be a really great year for you. You sound really positive and that's the biggest battle. For me, I'm really trying to enjoy each day as it comes.

Dagromm said...

I think I scared her away.

Cyber D said...

CyberD thinks Tera and CyberD have great minds that are thinking alike!!!!

Tera said...

NoR~Damn You! I'll get on it tomorrow...promise!

Susan~In my little corner? Sorry...my computer crashed at home, and I have been swamped at work...thus, not able to blog! I will make time tomorrow...it's so nice to know that I've been missed! :-)

Anali~Happy New Year! I hear ya girl!

Dagromm~No, but you lured me back, grrrrrr!

Cyber~Tera concurs!