Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned...

Who would have thought that this day would ever come? I most certainly didn't! All of my life, I have had standards by which I live, principles that I adopt, and morals and values by which I stand...firmly. One of those is using the phrase G__damn it (no matter how hard I've every tried, I can't do it), and another is...sleeping with a married man.

This is something that I would not budge on...for several reasons. One, I think that I do a fantabulous job of sinning on my own, two being I don't have time to aid and abet some one's infidelities, and three...If I'm going to go to hell, shit, I'm not going to hell for a man that can't control his winkie!

But there has been a strange series of events in my life lately...almost in a Leminy Snickets (if that's how you spell the shit) sort of way. I used to work very closely with a man on my last job...and when they were looking to fill that position, I hoped and prayed that it would be someone my age, a peer...someone I could relate to. I just didn't think that if they would send someone as suavamente as M that he'd have to be married!!! Now we all know that I have had my share of office romance and wasn't in the mood for another, but brother man was looking rather scrumdili-icious!

I did a very good job of containing myself during our tenure there. We even hung out on occasion (which his wife was totally fine with), and more often than not, I think he picked up on certain esteem issues I had and began complimenting me profusely...on my personality, my education...and yes, even my appearance! We still never "went there," and I hated when I had the most impure thoughts when I smelled his cologne etc.

One night we went out, and had a great time! Everyone else that joined us had left, but he and I still had to "politic" about a thing or two. So we did, and as we departed, he got in the passenger side of my car since we still had "a little giggle left." After a second or two, he said, "I had a great time tonight...give me a hug so we can take our drunk asses home." So I did................and to my surprise, I got a soft, sweet, sensual, peck on the neck! 105 degrees of heat immediately rushed through the blood in my veins, each and every one of my 206 bones reduced to rubber, I began to throb in parts that I'd much rather not mention (can't afford anything higher than an "R" rating on this blog), and any oxygen supply that may have availed itself to me in that moment ceased to exist! We sat there...speechless...and we went our separate ways.

It didn't make anything awkward, but I did feel a bit guilty, because to me, a sin in the mind is just as bad as one in real life! We never mentioned it again, but that's when it all began...

I have been having recurring dreams about M! These dreams are the most passionate, lustful, and down right out-of-this world in nature! It is getting to the place where I just can't handle it! And since we still hang out, I am not sure how much more I can take!!!

Help me please! What do I do? Someone smack some sense into me!

P.S. I know what 97.5% of you are going to say, but I am so curious as to what the other 2.5% are pondering!

35 comments:

Nina said...

Don't even go there, Tera Nicole!!!!!

Tera said...

Nina~Daaaamn! Why you gotta put my gu'ment name out there?!

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

I'm so not that 2.5%, so I would say remove yourself from the temptation. Business only for the two of you. It's not about going to hell for your sins; it's about karma being a bitch;>

Tera said...

Woo~You're right...Karma is about 12 bitches in a snowstorm!!!

heather said...

this may come as a shock to some of you but i once dated a guy who was married back when i was 19 or 20. it was a very brief affair that ended when i found out he was married but i still to this day feel guilty about it whenever it comes to mind.
for your own peace of mind tell him that while you enjoy his company you need to keep things strictly professional between the two of you. woo is right, karma can be a bitch and personally if i'm gonna go to hell it's not gonna be over a man.

but you knew i'd say that didn't you. :-)

Tera said...

Heather~I just know the guilt would eat me up!

***********NEWS JUST IN************

The dreams meant something! I can't really elaborate, so all I can say is my clairvoyance is hard at work!!!

EsLocura said...

run like the wind is my advice ... in the opposite direction of course.

Dagromm said...

Tera - I can't that any guy that would screw around on his wife is worth bothering yourself with. I also believe in having a double standard and not passing up opportunities, so call me (wink wink).

Dagromm said...

That's supposed to say, "I can't believe that...

Tera said...

Dagromm~If only you knew the "breaking news," you might rethink your response! *Dialing your number*

rey said...

bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

Get the point?????

Tera said...

Rey~No Rey, are you implying that this is bad?

Susan said...

I tend to always fall into the small percentage. I've been in more relationships with guys who were married/separated/whatever than single ones. They are NOT worth the heartache, pain and death threats that come with them no matter how amazing the sex may be.

SAY NO.

Also, if the breaking news is "he's getting a divorce" ...don't do it. If the passion is real, wait until he's divorced. Trust me when I say you don't want to be "that hussy that stole him away" even if you aren't. It's a shade of lime light that doesn't work with anyone's complexion..

Tera said...

Susan~Your comment is well received however you totally do not fall into the 2.5% who I just KNEW would comment playing devil's advocate!

Also, I think there is just an "understood" attraction and lots of chemistry between the 2 of us. I mean we've had plenty of opportunities to "do it," but I think we both agree on "no" silently. Mutually.

Kofi said...

I am so not the person to ask for love/attraction advice...

probably because I'm dealing with my own love situation(s) at the moment.

As long as you understand the attraction for what it is, you seem to be in good shape.

My advice? Treat it like a bad cold... in the hope that eventually the attraction will fade away and infect someone else.

Dagromm said...

Is the breaking news that he's really hung? Is it that I'm really hung? I've always suspected that was the case and that no one wanted to tell me out of fear that I might then unleash it on the world.

Tera said...

Kofi~Hmmm...good analogy!

Dagromm~Huh? LMAO! No.

Anonymous said...

Even the slightest bit of heat gets cranked up to nuclear when there's drink involved. Been there, done that...guy. Heh.

And what Susan said on if the news is impending divorce. Worth the wait if it's worth it at all. Then again, maybe the clairvoyance is about a threesome? Okay, so I can get behind that! (No pun intended! Perverts! I love you all...)

You know, my best friend in the world, the 'if a bus falls on me' guardian of my daughter (that's trust!), is a guy I've known for 15 years. When we met, he was married to a stone cold bitch. Our attraction was INTENSE. We did some making out but guilt always stopped us. When he finally got a divorce years later, I flew to see him and stayed a week. Yeah, the sex was fantastic, but after I went back home we talked it out, and saw that we'd rather treasure our friendship than pursue a relationship that probably wouldn't work because we really did kinda know each other TOO well, and ya can't stay in bed all the time. And both our current spouses know of our fling and that it's in the looong past. But you know what? That attraction's still there, and sometimes we'll be out alone and have to outright say, getting too close to the line, time to go home! It's just physical lust for someone you genuinely like as a friend. So maybe it's one of those situations?

(What percentage did I land in?)

But ultimately, we're ALL going to just need more details. Lots and lots of details. And pics. Video if you've got it.

Tera said...

D Dub~How refreshing! I think you are more straddling the fence (on the percentages) than anything! You have brought to light a very good point! OF COURSE the physical attraction is there, but if something were to happen where we could pursue it, would I be willing to run the risk of losing him as the terrific friend he really is??? Hrrrmm...

Nance said...

As the Ancient Lady of the commenters, you already know my advice. And as far as the News Flash, pardon me, but it's bullshit. Especially if he "took the time to call you himself so that you wouldn't hear it through the grapevine." Rise above, be the Classy One, and think of the long run. It's always the woman's reputation that ends up uglified. "Glass, china, and reputations are easily broken and never well-mended."

fringes said...

If he says he's getting a divorce, he is lying.

Having said that, life is about learning experiences. if you have to learn to stay away from married men by being with this married man, lesson learned. Nothing we say is going to stop you from doing what you want. Just be prepared for the consequences.

You're too good for him, Tera.

Belle - A Beauty livin with her Beast said...

I am totally not one to tell you go for it or take off your heels and run as fast as you can..by all means I have my demons as well. But it would be nicer to have someone you talk about with others, and feel like you dont have to hide...and you dont want to be strung along...it isnt a fun feeling.

Dagromm said...

Do which ever you think you'll regret less. If your unsure then do which ever you feel ok explaining to your kids about. That's a fairly good litmus test.

Gyuss Baaltar said...

Would someone please tell Susan that sex with married guys is totally awesome and worth it? At least with one I know?

Tera said...

Nance~You are right, I definitely dont' want to be known as a homewrecker! You have however made me feel compelled to explain a bit more on the news flash and I am a bit confused about my sheer preminition being bullshit...

The dreams AS DESCRIBED are parts and pieces of chains of events that have happened to him recently!!! No joke! Totally not involving me, but everything even on down to some stuff about the wife...happened!

Even if he does sleep with someone else, I think we mutually agree that our friendship is far more important than for him to "go there" with me :)

Fringes~I totally agree, and have already decided that the friendship is much more valuable, and actually, that WAS indeed sparked by D Dub!!!

Belle~Definitely not! I have had my share of hurt and disappointment when it comes to men, and it's not likely that I am a glutton for that kind of abuse!

My Sweet~You are the most awesomest!!!

Gyuss~Well if Dagromm is the one, then...

Anonymous said...

That is awesome and I totally think you made the right decision. And Fringes had a good point that even if you chose to go the other way instead right now, well, we've all got to experience things in order to learn for ourselves.

If at some point he ditches the missus for reasons unrelated to you (so no guilt!), and you want to have yourself a sample, then you can feel free! But like I said about my best friend, I value his friendship (he's like a brother to me, I've called him in the wee hours sobbing about whatever, and he's been on the next flight down, fact!)...and something that precious and rare, you just don't mess with, IMO.

So good for you!

Anali said...

Wow that's a tough one! Maybe you can't hang out with him anymore, because you are only human. Stay away!! It won't end well. And basically if you are looking for something serious from him, you will know that he will cheat on his wife, so even if he leaves his wife and marries you, you'll know that about him.

Susan said...

Tera-Dagromm-Susan triangle? Am I reading that right? I didn't realize gyuss would pass me off so easy. I'm hurt....however...

Call me!

LOL

Tera said...

D Dub~And I think that is so important...he is a great friend to me!

Anali~The best part is we TOTALLY never talk about sex or anything, and I think he loves his wife very much. A lot of people misunderstood a lot in this post...it's just the ATTRACTION that's killing me! We're cool though, and I am a firm believer that what is meant to be will be!

Tera said...

Susan~Absotively posilutely not!

Susan said...

Thank goodness. I do not play well in groups.

I think I'm slightly delusional minus sleep.

Tera said...

Susan~LMAO!

Dagromm said...

In times like this when you're not sure what to do, you can always turn to New Edition for advice. Michael Bivens holds all the answers. I submit as evidence the following:

And my friends keep telling me..
When ya got a girl who takes her time
You must slow the pace you can't mess with her mind
If she feels the same she'll letcha know
Just prepare yourself or be ready to go
And I hope this message stays in your mind
Cause you almost lost a girl who is right on time
There's one more thing that ya got to know
Just cool it down and stay in control

Tera said...

My Sweet~Somehow I knew this post/comments could not be complete without your ever so accurate reference to New Edition or Bell Biv Devoe!

Butter Bella said...

i want to use this medium to testify of how i got back my ex boyfriend. After 5 years in relationship with my husband with 3 kids, he suddenly started going out with other ladies and coming home late, most at times drunk and each time i confront him about this it turns out to be fight, he even threatened to divorce me severally, I was emotionally devastated because i was not sure of what to do to make him love me again, I tried all i could to make him love me again but all proved abortive until i saw a post on the internet on how a spell caster Dr. MOVIDAK helps people restore back their broken relationship/marriage at first i doubted this but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this spell caster via email he helped me cast a re-union spell and within 5hours my husband came to me apologizing and today we are happily together again. Contact this great spell caster on your marriage and relationship problems at dr.movidakspellhome@gmail.com Goodluck