Who would have thought that this day would ever come? I most certainly didn't! All of my life, I have had standards by which I live, principles that I adopt, and morals and values by which I stand...firmly. One of those is using the phrase G__damn it (no matter how hard I've every tried, I can't do it), and another is...sleeping with a married man.
This is something that I would not budge on...for several reasons. One, I think that I do a fantabulous job of sinning on my own, two being I don't have time to aid and abet some one's infidelities, and three...If I'm going to go to hell, shit, I'm not going to hell for a man that can't control his winkie!
But there has been a strange series of events in my life lately...almost in a Leminy Snickets (if that's how you spell the shit) sort of way. I used to work very closely with a man on my last job...and when they were looking to fill that position, I hoped and prayed that it would be someone my age, a peer...someone I could relate to. I just didn't think that if they would send someone as suavamente as M that he'd have to be married!!! Now we all know that I have had my share of office romance and wasn't in the mood for another, but brother man was looking rather scrumdili-icious!
I did a very good job of containing myself during our tenure there. We even hung out on occasion (which his wife was totally fine with), and more often than not, I think he picked up on certain esteem issues I had and began complimenting me profusely...on my personality, my education...and yes, even my appearance! We still never "went there," and I hated when I had the most impure thoughts when I smelled his cologne etc.
One night we went out, and had a great time! Everyone else that joined us had left, but he and I still had to "politic" about a thing or two. So we did, and as we departed, he got in the passenger side of my car since we still had "a little giggle left." After a second or two, he said, "I had a great time tonight...give me a hug so we can take our drunk asses home." So I did................and to my surprise, I got a soft, sweet, sensual, peck on the neck! 105 degrees of heat immediately rushed through the blood in my veins, each and every one of my 206 bones reduced to rubber, I began to throb in parts that I'd much rather not mention (can't afford anything higher than an "R" rating on this blog), and any oxygen supply that may have availed itself to me in that moment ceased to exist! We sat there...speechless...and we went our separate ways.
It didn't make anything awkward, but I did feel a bit guilty, because to me, a sin in the mind is just as bad as one in real life! We never mentioned it again, but that's when it all began...
I have been having recurring dreams about M! These dreams are the most passionate, lustful, and down right out-of-this world in nature! It is getting to the place where I just can't handle it! And since we still hang out, I am not sure how much more I can take!!!
Help me please! What do I do? Someone smack some sense into me!
P.S. I know what 97.5% of you are going to say, but I am so curious as to what the other 2.5% are pondering!