What A Weekend!!!

I know it's been a while since I've been on fellow bloggers...and thanks for all two of the dear friends I've made since I began blogging for noticing and checking on me! :) The truth is that between the trip to Myrtle Beach (which was a mix of excitement AND a tad bit of...well you'll hear about it later) and my dental work yesterday...I was in no shape to do much of anything, but I miss you guys, so thank goodness I'm back!

Let me start from the beginning...

We geared up to leave on Thursday night. We packed everything we needed clothes, swim gear, snacks, and..."female unmentionables!" Yes I said it, female unmentionables! After all that hard work at my swimming lessons and psyching myself up to actually GET IN the ocean this time and not just stand there and look at it, my bitc* decided to pay me a visit at the most inopportune time one could imagine...

Our travel partners arrived Friday evening and we packed up the truck. Of course there are a select few items that decided to pull a random disappear act because I needed to pack them, but I did not let that foul my mood. We were off to bed for our 4:30 a.m. departure...NOT! Let's just say that for some odd reason I got sick, and the "porcelain god" had my undivided attention until at LEAST that time, and we were almost 2 hours late leaving...

The drive went fairly smoothly...other than the fact that I now have to pay about as much for a gallon of gas as I have to for a shot of rum, nothing else seemed to piss me off. Me and my friend rotated as planned, and hey, I even got a nap in when it was my turn to drive! It was gravy (except for those bastard ass mountains in TN and NC)!!!

We arrive...I don't know if I mentioned that there was 6 of us...and that we booked this room at the Hilton IN FEBRUARY through our travel agent...it was as big as the standard restroom stall (not the handicapped one...sorry to spoil the fun Mist)!!! The beds were fit for a dollhouse, and with my big ass, I nearly had to walk sideways JUST to get to the patio! I went to the desk spewing off all the amenities the website said they had, and what was in the room which I KNOW I had my travel agent book, and their simple reply was, "Oh, that was 2 years ago, we don't have that anymore...and as far as the room, we're booked" and then as I watched yet ANOTHER customer come to the desk because they were placed in the wrong room, I asked for a manager. Those of you who know me KNOW (shut up Nina)...I DON'T LIKE POOR CUSTOMER SERVICE! Let me just make a long story short(er)...after 2 hours of escalating the situation as far as I could, we ended up next door, at the Embassy, for the same price, with all the amenities we expected and MORE (I LOVE free stuff!), and a better ocean view. I will be working this morning on getting more when I call 1-800-HILTONS...

After that got settled, things went great! It was Bike Week, so we met lots of yummy looking men, ate some good food, saw some interesting sites, and had a blast at the resort!!! There was no other mishap...except my friend's son screaming for help BEFORE even entering the Ripley's Haunted Adventure, thus we looked like asses asking if we could go in the museum in its stead.

I cried most of the way home due to the built up anxiety of having to go to the dentist. I had to stop on the way to my house to get the drugs which were supposed to keep me nice and happy while they worked (Dagromm, I guess I didn't appreciate it as much as most). During well over 5 hours of drilling, cutting, stabbing, and random sprinkles of additional meds under my tongue (since said $345 pill wasn't working as well as it should have), I was free to go...I think I fell at least twice and bumped into walls that have been in my apartment since I moved here. I slept most of yesterday, and now here I am! My upper and lower jaw still can't seem to find each other...but I'm good!

So after that long post, in comments, more inopportune events, reactions to poor customer service (piggybacking one of the more recent posts at the Fringe), and tampon stories.

Okay, Okay....

I had to succumb to the pressure applied by Heather and the gang!

Behold...my bunny....and yep, he's got the right idea. Time for bed!!!

Perhaps More Fun Than The Meme?

From top to bottom: My Botticelli, Magna Cartoon, and Modigliani

Fringe had a post about a week ago regarding face transformations. I've decided to add the link for you all to try it in case you didn't catch it at the Fringe...I know I'm a day late for my Friday Foto (and about a week late showing you mine Fringe) but hey, this was cool!

Hey, if you guys try it, let me know!

P.S. Dagromm, I guess this is further confirmation that I am a human female ;)

10 Little Known Facts

1. Polar bears are left handed.

2. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

3. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

4. After flushing, the splash from inside the toilet can travel up to 6 feet.

5. Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.

6. There are 293 ways to make change for $1.

7. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

8. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.

9. It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

10. The closest living relative to the T-Rex is the chicken.

Bonus Challenge: Sit in a chair, and make CLOCKWISE circles with your right foot. Now, (at the same time) with your right hand draw the number "6" (in the air of course)...Is your foot still going clockwise?

In comments, disagreements, are you as bored as I am, and whose right foot is "smart..."

P.S. My toothbrush now resides in the Living Room.

I Was Tagged...Now Your Turn!

I got tagged by Fringes. I think she just wanted to see if I would figure out how to make those damned links!!!

The meme:
1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the city/state and country you’re in.

Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
Lotus (Toronto, Canada)
tanabata (Saitama, Japan)
Andi (Dallas [ish], Texas, United States)
Todd (Louisville, Kentucky, United States)
miss kendra (los angeles, california, u.s.a)
Jiggs Casey (Berkeley, CA, USA! USA! USA!)
Tits McGee (New England, USA)
Kat (Ontario, Canada)
Cheezy (London, England)
Paula (Orange County, California, U.S.)
Jeff (Colorado, USA)
Fringes (around Houston, US)
Tera (Somewhere In KY by way of OH, USA)

2. List your top five local eating places. I LOVE FOOD! This is a no-brainer!

Seafood is at the top of my list...and although it has been guilty of being referred to as "commercial," I love Red Lobster!!! I also can't forget about the one I discovered just a couple of years ago...The Youngstown Crab Company!

Olive Garden is FANTASTIC!!! I just can't get enough of that salad and breadsticks...hey the wine is great too!

Chick-fil-A has got to sell one of the best chicken sandwiches I've had in my life! Their lemonade is also almost as good as Auntie Anne's!!!

And last but not least, I have a new favorite since moving to KY...Safier (they dont' have a website)! It's a Mediterranean Deli which serves the best Athenian Chicken IN THE WORLD (probably other than those who actually make it in Athens!)

Of course I have many others like August Moon, TGI Fridays, etc., but let's not over do it!!!

3. Tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged.

Nina
Nance
Heather
Gyuss
Dagromm....He he!

I LOST MY CELL PHONE!

The most Earth-shattering and unthinkable thing happened to me yesterday! I mean you never really realize how important your cell phone is and how much of your life it holds in it...until you LOSE IT!! Numbers, pictures, EVERYTHING gone!!! How in the hell did I lose it, I had just finished telling my Mother, "Happy Mother's Day," and picked up my friend for church?!?! I am crushed. Needless to say, this has just a few, but very SEVERE implications...

• Those losers that tried relentlessly to get a hold of me because they hadn't "got it" that I press "Ignore" and really don't want to talk to them now have ALL ACCESS to me, because OF COURSE I won't recognize their numbers when they call!


• I no longer have the "relapse" luxuries of my "Little Black Book" portion of my contact list!


• I don't know what in the hell these random text messages mean, nor from whence they came


• My phone was discontinued, so I have this cosmetically disadvantaged replacement phone that I don't know how to operate!


• And lastly (but TOTALLY not least)...when I say I had pictures in there...I mean I have some PICTURES in there!!! Need I say more?

My heart is truly broken, and my social life has come to a screeching halt! And the worst part is, I had to go almost 2 hours yesterday without it...there was a strange and inexplicable silence in my world.

In comments...consolation, how to mend a broken heart, and how to reduce dissonance regarding those pictures being in the wrong hands!

Hodge Podge II

I finished reading my first book in my new adventure called READING last night! I read "Their Eyes Were Watching God" by Zora Neale Hurston. I tell you what fellow bloggers, that was an EXCELLENT read for someone such as myself who is not an avid reader, but has a great imagination. It was almost as I felt each and every one of Janie Crawford's emotions as she ventured through life wondering if she'd ever find and/experience the one thing many people think they know about and have no clue...LOVE.

It is almost time for me to take my big trip to Myrtle Beach (road trip), and woe is me! I loathe packing and everything associated with it! The kids are excited about the chance to see the ocean (because I keep telling them that it in no way resembles the lake, and the beauty is almost inexplicable), so I am trying to use that as a reason to keep me motivated...that and the fact that I get a couple of days off work, and get the chance to go somewhere I haven't been before!


The swimming lessons are over and guess what...I didn't sink! By the last class, I didn't have my lifebelt on nor the 3 or 4 floaties that I used under my belly! I just used the little bar out in front as I practiced my kick motion, began a few freestyle strokes, and guess what?? I was brave enough to go under water!!! That is huge for someone who has/had fears such as I do! That's another thing that excites me about going to Myrtle Beach, I will be able to go in the water! And you know what else...I think I am going to sign up for the next round of lessons...it is MOST DEFINITELY WORTH IT!

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I have been a waitress, bank teller, Secretary, Case Manager, Trainer, Teacher, and now being a Program Manager, I am STILL not feeling this sense of wanting to retire from here! This is a matter of urgency since the age of 30 is right around the corner, and I have an MBA that I am not putting to good use! Entrepreneurship (then benefits cost and arm and a leg)? Go back to something I've done previously (which Teaching is the only thing that appeals-NEITHER of those things are very fruitful on the income end)? Go back to school (I fear that I will already be paying back student loans in the after-life)? Who knows?

Where in the hell is Mr. Right? Even my kids are starting to notice that I need someone in my life...I don't know if that's because they are tired of me hanging out with them or what! You know it's bad when your 7-year old looks at you and asks, "Do you date much?"

I also have to birthday blues...June 3rd is that famous day, and I feel the depression and anxiety seeping through my pores.

In your comments, suggestions on my next read; traveling tips; career advice; where to look; and pick-me-ups...

Road Rage At Its Finest

I could hardly wait until I had a moment to sit down and blog about this one...we all know about it, we all see it, and there is a select few of us who have it...ROAD RAGE!!! I think I am guilty as charged! I pass people in haste. I can't stand these bastards that don't use turn signals. I am growing more and more impatient with the cell phone users who think that being on the phone is CLEARLY an excuse for going 25 miles less than the speed limit. I can't stand people who don't know how to drive in the elements...I mean for crying out loud, I can COUNT the snow flakes on the ground!!! I also have felonious thoughts about people who tail-gate me, cut me off, and for some strange reason, in my city, people think they can just walk in front of my car which is clearly going more than 55 mph. as if I had decided at that very moment to test my brakes!

I find myself yelling obscenities that I obviously made up in my mind, because they don't really connect or give an example of a coherent thought. And also as I shout out these things like FU**A$$, and DOUCHE BAG (of COURSE trying to control that when the children are in the car) and look in the rear view mirror, I feel an ounce of shame for a millisecond as the boys are chuckling and looking at me as if I had just come down with a bad case of Tourettes.

So all of you out there in Blog Land...I ask of thee...who is guilty??? I decided that the best way to do this is to list the TOP 3 incidents I have either witnessed, been a part of, or have heard about...perhaps one or two of you can relate!

Number 3

I am on the way to the store riding in the car with my son's grandmother who had clearly had a bad day. The woman behind us was tailgating. B was getting furious, so she decided she'd tick this woman off further and drive slower. I know that B can have a temper, so I observe and say nothing. Finally, the road splits to 2 lanes...The woman passes B and flips her the finger. And among the 100 curse words, I think I heard a fuck or 2 and a random "bitch!" B FOLLOWED HER!!! As the lady pulled into the parking lot and looked as if (what appeared to me) she might have shit her pants, she just sat in the car...not B! She got out and went over to the car like, "I got yo BITCH!!!" She wouldn't get out of the car...I wouldn't stop laughing.

Number 2

I was driving along my merry way at the grocery store, and ever since I learned how to drive, I think that crosswalks are appropriately marked with a sign that reads "Pedestrians Crossing" and there are white parallel lines on the ground indicating the area where they are to cross right? So am I wrong if I proceed to drive and listen to my music and not yield if I am NOT in that area? Well I did, and all of a sudden, a loud bump, bump, bump and the sound of my hood caving in caught my attention...my friend and I were almost afraid to look...I opened my eyes...there on my hood, pointing his finger and yelling obscenities at ME, there he was...a damn pedestrian. I politely asked him to get his stupid ass off my car (as if he didn't see that bright, gold Plymouth Breeze coming down the road) and once he did, I proceeded as normal.

Number 1 (and this takes the cake...it happens to have occurred TODAY!)

As I'm driving home today, I get a text from my friend Rey (who has given me permission to use her story in this blog) saying she almost got in a fight at a red light. I'm thinking hmmm...so I asked, "What happened?" Apparently, the car in front of her had to screech to a stop (dumb ass probably didn't notice the light was red-probably was on a damn cell phone too), so she had to come to a sudden stop...consequently, the Chevy Cobalt behind her (Standard SUV) had to come to a stop. Chevy wasn't too happy, so what did she do? She jumped out of her car and came up to Rey's car and said, "Get out of the car, I'm gonna kick your ass!" And Rey is so sweet and kind, and usually very non-confrontational.............SHE GOT OUT! And was basically like..."Bitch WHAT!" I can just picture it! The man in the car next to Rey had to break them up, because it was ON!!! The girl even threatened to ram Rey's car (as if any of us have ever witnessed a house fly getting into a fight with a Rottweiler and actually winning?)! I wonder at which point did the light change? I DIGRESS...

So please...Share your stories, no matter how bizarre. How many of us have it?!