Woman With No Regrets Interviews A Woman With Some...

NoR has taken time out of her busy schedule fighting bears and taming the wild to interview me. I am ever so excited to answer her questions and hope that all of you will enjoy this post!

1. You've just won an all-expenses paid vacation to anywhere in the world with either one adult or two children. Who would you take, and where would you go? I would most definitely take my young men, and we would tour Europe! They are the loves of my life, and since I was NEVER exposed to much excitement as a child, I vowed that as long as there is breath in my body, I would expose them to all of those things I missed out on. I know that Europe is culturally rich...France, Italy, Spain, Greece....the list goes on and on! There are places to go, people to see, and fabulous cuisine to eat!!!

2. You've just been chosen as a contestant on Survivor. What non-essential item would you take with you and why? Let me preface this expressing my disdain for reality shows (shut up Nina!)!!!! I don't like them...in fact, this is the first year I think I tuned in to American Idol! I just think that life is real enough, and true, it gives us a chance to see that other people are just as crazy as we are (if not crazier), they're just not my cup of tea!

I think I would take my lip gloss. My lips happen to be one of my strongest assets, and I happen to be borderline OCD when it comes to keeping them moist ;-)

3.What's the most important thing you've learned from your children? I have learned that love is the most phenomenal thing in this world! I never thought that I would ever have anyone in my life that could elevate my blood pressure to fatal levels and get me to the highest point of pisstivity...and I could still love them with all of my heart. I love them unconditionally, and know that they love me...and no matter how low I perceive my esteem to be, they lift me up in a way unimaginable to all mankind. They are truly a blessing in my life.

4. If you had to choose one of the following to happen to you, which would it be?
- lose sight
- lose hearing
- lose use of legs
Wow NoR!!!! This is truly a tough one, but if I had to pick, it would be to lose hearing. I couldn't imagine what it would be like not to actually see if the world would change, how my boys would grow, or the 4 seasons as they come and go. I also am a person who needs to be in perpetual motion, so to lose the use of my legs would definitely impede that process! So, in a nutshell, I would prefer close-captioning and sign language to a seeing-eye dog and/a wheelchair any day!

5. Do you have any regrets? If so, name one and explain why/what you'd have done differently. If not, tell me your favorite color. :-) Yes, and I know that the saying goes, "everything happens for a reason," but there are many regrets that I have. I regret being such a harsh person at times. I had to build this wall around me and put armor on my heart because of what I had been through having a crack addict as a mother and trying to survive, along with allowing the 2 men that I had my children by to be a part of my life. Now I don't regret them because I have my children, but they are a part of the reason my heart has been broken beyond repair.

All I can say about my action plan is that therapy and a relocation have truly helped...tremendously. I look at things differently now, I try not to sweat the small stuff, and I try to yield on occasion, because healthy relationships with family and friends are wonderful! I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I know that I am a work in progress, but many in my immediate circle will tend to agree that I am in a much better place.

PS~My favorite color is Peach and shut the hell up...yes it IS a color ;-)

Damn You Dagromm!

Apparently, our friend Dagromm likes to be clever and go against the grain. He has asked 50-11 questions in this interview, and I need him to understand that there may be hell to pay!

1. You're a good parent who loves your kids, but you're like all of us and once in a while think "What if". So if you didn't have kids what do you think that you would have done or accomplished that you haven't done to this point? You know honestly it is VERY difficult to imagine what life would be without them! I don't think I would have my MBA, but I would have completed the Computer Science degree that I began before learning that I was pregnant with W. I attribute my level of motivation to them, so although I would be successful (I'm sure), I would probably be a lonely workaholic with a smaller ass and hips!

2. It's been well documented that the Crotch Wizards have had to discipline rogue members of the group before. Which member of the Crotch Wizards would you like to discipline? I think hands down, that would be Cyber D. For the most part, he behaves, but when he gets in certain moods and has his occasional bout with passive-aggressiveness, I would like to crack my whip!

3. Dagromm Day has been sweeping the globe, how do you celebrate and show your love for all that is Dagromm? Hmmm...let's see, there would be a festival with competitive games and a costume contest. Dagromm/Dags/Dagomon shirts, hats, pins, and Frisbees for everyone (for a small fee of course)! There would also be a ceremony featuring a tribute to the new wave--the age of the Soccer Dad and a "Things I Like About Dagromm" round. Then everyone would gather around with glasses of Tequila in hand for the dedication round where you present the sponsorship check to me for Tera Day!

4. The world had finally figured it out and decided that you should be treated like a queen and waited on hand and foot by a concubine of men including Vin Diesel, Dwayne "The Rock Johnson, Paul Walker, Tom Welling, and Tyson Beckford. This being the new status quo, I ask "How could you do this to me?????" I would simply say, "Not to worry My Sweet, because the only one on that list I would consider allowing doing anything to me other than my hair, manicure, pedicure, or massage is Paul Walker, and after Q's latest post, even that is questionable!"

5. Due to tragic unforeseen circumstances you die by a massive overdose of cocaine and Red Bull. When you arrive in heaven Saint Peter asks whom you'd like to live next door to in the community apartments in the sky for the rest of Eternity. I haven't died yet so you can't choose me. Q has died, but apparently some of his sexual oddities kept him from being admitted through the pearly gates. (You crack me up!) I would ask to live next door to my grandmother on the right, and my Aunt Button on the left.

6. Blogger asks about your favorite movie and book. I want to know what your favorite music video is? Currently and of all time? Currently it's "Wall to Wall" (Chris Brown) or wait, maybe it's "Get Me Bodied" (Beyonce)??? Anyways...of all time, I'm torn between "Pleasure Principle" (Janet Jackson) and "Thriller" (Michael Jackson).

7. Your about to make some steamy lovin'. What music do you have playing when it's time to get to it? The new Jagged Edge CD...although short, it's. The. Shit.

8. Your kid asks you one of those questions that makes you say, "Oh shit!?!". What's the question? Ooh, this is easy, because it has happened on several occasions! "Mommy, I know this is my winkie (flicking it in a way that makes me uncomfortable).........but what's theeeeese (with thumb and middle finger in a c-shape gently pressing "them" together)?"

9. What does the term "...for her pleasure" mean to you? When you've seen it used has it been accurate? All I have to say about that is condoms only means safer...they are NEVER "for her pleasure."

10. We all have boundaries. Even on the Internet. What topics do you have no interest in discussing? Please discuss them now. Well I guess your request defeats the purpose??? I generally don't like discussing politics...I'm a Democrat (there, consider it discussed). I also don't like discussing religion...too many blasphemists out there nowadays!

11. Please elaborate on your answer to #10. You're funny...no!

12. Somebody offers you fifty bucks to cut all ties with your blog friends and never read their stuff or communicate with them again. Do you take it? If not what's your price? (Mine's twenty) LOL! No, I would tell them to keep their $50, because my blog friends are indispensable! Uhhhhh, but say $51.50, it might warrant further discussion ;-)

13. A good friend has just discovered blogging and wants to know about the group you run in. How do you describe them? As a good combination of smart, funny, crazy, emotional, witty, and aesthetic!

14. You gain the ability and opportunity to kick ass like Grace Jones in Conan the Destroyer, except with better hair. Whose ass gets beat first? Am I allowed to say the President here? I guess this would be a continuation of number 11 :)

15. What do people at work think you're doing all day? LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! I can't care!

Compliments of Eslocura

Eslocura has taken time out of her busy schedule to interview me! Admittedly, these were very thought provoking and not the easiest to answer, but nonetheless, here we go!

1) If you can only use 5 words to best describe who you are, what would they be?

A strong, independent, educated, dedicated mother.

2) You just found that "magical genie lamp", the genie wants to grant you 3 wishes, what are they?

I have given this question thought from time to time, but always hoped that I was never required to do the difficult task of answering it! I guess initially, I would do just the same as about 95% of people would do...wish for everlasting wealth. To be debt free would alleviate most of my stress and worries. I know that I have a strong work ethic, so I'm sure that I would continue to do so (of course after taking a couple of months off so that the boys and I could travel)...I would just like to pay my bills and live comfortably for the rest of my life.

I would wish for the healing and birth of a new nation. Meaning a holistic approach to that including a change in leadership (for the good!); economic growth and stability; health care for all; reduction in crime; elimination of hate, racism, and prejudice; and national peace. Yes, I realize this may be quite a loaded wish, but who says I can't make the attempt?

Lastly, I would wish that me, my family, and friends would lead happy, healthy, long and successful lives. Yes, that one is loaded as well, but whatever, they're my damned wishes!

3) Parenting has got to be the hardest job around, What life lessons do you hope to instill in your kids?

This one nearly brought me to tears. I feel as a parent, there is so much to do, and so little time to do it. You want to capture every little thing that might affect the essence of their being at the right ages and at the right time...so timing is very critical. Anyways, I guess it is really a three pronged approach that I have been sort of using and has seemed to work thus far.

*It is important to learn about love, respect, compassion, HONESTY, loyalty, and integrity. I teach them that each and everything they do in their lifetime is a reflection of what type of person they are. I also teach the importance of treating others as they want to be treated; that 2 wrongs do not make a "right;" and that they must first respect themselves before others will.

*Education is important---street knowledge as well as book knowledge. I tell them all the time that education will get them everywhere they will go in life. Common sense is a critical element, and knowing right from wrong is the key. Education also speaks to creativity and being an individual. D loves art...W does not, but that doesn't mean that they aren't equally terrific and stunningly brilliant young men alike.

*Lastly, with anything that I teach them, I told them that values should be intrinsically driven, and they should be individuals who are driven to do the right things because it comes from within. I tell them to love and appreciate the beings that they are and never let anyone tell them that they are anything less than the wonderful, smart, beautiful young men that I have raised them to be. I teach them that a relationship with God is very important, and that there is power in prayer. And I also teach them to always love with all that they have; learn as much as they can; live each day as if it is their last; and dream each day as if they will live forever.

4) My home is my sanctuary away from the evils of the planet, describe your sanctuary?

Well, there is not much to my home, but I agree, it is my refuge from the madness of the world...a place where I feel safe, comfortable, and free. In the physical world, I have a 1,550 sq. ft. apartment with 3 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms (it is a BITCH cleaning them...especially when one is just for the boys!), dine-in kitchen, and other essentials. But in the emotional, mental, and spiritual world, it is a kingdom...filled with the various elements of conversation, education, good food, and good times ALONG WITH LOVE, safety, companionship, spirituality, and a sense of belonging.

5) I know you write lovely poetry, and of course you also blog, what inspires you to write?

To put it simply, LIFE inspires me to write. That's pretty self explanatory, and I think you ALL can relate :)

Interview rules: 1) If you would like to be interviewed leave me a comment saying "interview me".2) I will respond by emailing you 5 questions, I get to pick the questions.3) Update your blog with a post containing the answers.4) Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.5) When others comment asking to be interviewed, you ask them 5 questions.

I Cried Last Night

The world has just come crashing in
Does anyone else feel this way?
I barely have one dime to spend
Who’d have thought I’d see this day?
We’re at war; the economy is shot; and our country bleeds
Guns are legal; murder is leisure, what an atrocity.

State taxes are the highest they’ve been
Gas prices are such a shame.
Foreclosures galore, we can’t feed the poor
Hmm, what was our President’s name?
The school system is questionable; some teachers don’t care; and some parents don’t do their part
Young children are on drugs; our sons are in jail…this just breaks my heart.

With a plethora of things going on, guess what’s on my mind?
It’s not clarity or a solution…it’s my HEART I’m trying to find.
I’m not happy at work; 3 jobs make it harder; and I would like much more time with my kids
To have a companion and actually be happy…oh my, Heaven forbid.

I’m stressed out like crazy; I can’t eat or sleep (at night)…what is wrong with me?
I sleep all day long and don’t want to be bothered…please just leave me be!
I’m not getting younger, I’ve lost all hope…wait who is that at the door?
Love? Ha! Love, who needs love? Love doesn’t live here anymore.

I cried last night because I feel so alone in this cold and dark little place
I cried last night because our problems are bigger than what put the tears on my face.
So why can’t I focus and get out of self long enough to see?
Why can’t I understand today that the problem’s much bigger than me?
I cried last night for personal reasons, and selfish…yeah I may be.
I cried last night because I’m dying inside and want badly to be free.

111

111...it is just a number right? Well what is it trying to tell me? Let me first of all preface this post by saying that this is something that precedes me watching "The Number 23," and has no positive correlation to anything that may have been conveyed or concocted....for that matter, in that movie whatsoever. Let me also say that it has been driving me nuts, so as always, I turn to you...my fellow bloggers for your insight.

Whenever I look at the clock, 1:11 p.m. (and/a.m. for that matter); whenever I look at the time on my cell phone, 1:11; when I get change, $1.11; the other day, I counted the money in my wallet, $111. License plates, time left on the microwave, in literature, the number of playing cards in the junk drawer, the heat index for about a week in the summer; similarly, my sister's birthday is January 11th, and my mother says it RARELY comes out in the Pick 3, so she doesn't think playing it in the lottery is the "sign."

I'll tell you what (even just seen "I'll" typed is driving me bananas!)...I will not allow it to consume my life, because in my estimation, it's too trivial a matter. I would like to know however since I have begun to dream it on occasion, if it may be tied to something deeper.

In your comments, your thoughts? Any recurring numbers in your lives? And NO for the record, I am not crazy yet, because I also have had recent visions of the number 69 ;-)

Innocence Lost

The most innocent and adorable face you ever could see is that of a child. They are the littlest people...with the most gentle touch, genuine ideas, and the most inquisitive minds. They are at our mercy when it comes to those physiological needs such as food, safety, shelter.......and love. In order to reciprocate our provisions for them, they pour out unconditional love in abundance and remind us that they are the little lives that we've created and are 100% responsible for...they are our children.

Well my friends out there in Blogland...in the past couple of days, my cousin's Godson has fallen victim to one of the most hateful, most inconceivable, most ridiculously absurd, and most heinous crimes of them all at a tender tender young age of 2...he was MURDERED.

When I got the call Tuesday, I asked what happened. The (new) boyfriend who was babysitting the young man said that he allowed him to get out of the bathtub alone, and he accidentally fell. His mother came home LATER that afternoon to find him gasping for air and rushed him to the doctor. That left me to wonder...how accidental could that have been if he let the young man sit there ALL DAY in agony without calling 9-1-1 or taking him to the ER? I knew at that moment that he must have done something to him...sure enough, yesterday, it was on the news...it was ruled a HOMICIDE.

There was an arrest made today. The coroner reported that the young man had suffered from several blows to the head and chest. There was blood nestled behind his retinas, and he had suffered severe brain damage before death. All the motherfucker had to say about it was..."Sorry."

There is nothing that can undo what he has done; there is nothing he can say to redeem himself; and similarly, there is nothing that can bring the young man back. A tragedy indeed...a true tragedy indeed.

In comments, what compels one to harm the most innocent creatures on earth?

Alas!!! The Boys at P&P!

Other than a few odds and ends, I don't think I've ever posted a blog about my handsome young men!!! As I sit here looking at the photo on my desk...which by the way seems to be my only remnant of why I remain sane now days...I began to chuckle. They are the light of my life, and the center of my universe, so I thought I'd shared a few anecdotes from the Life and Times of W and D!!!

W is the older of the 2. He's a pretty laid back young man who has gotten an A+ in grasping the concept of "every man for himself." Generally, he looks out for his younger brother, but on some occasions he has been caught red handed doing things such as finishing his slushie about 3/4 of the way and trading with D (whose slushie is still almost full) because he's assured him that "red" is better than "blue." One time, he used his age, thus, more advanced gross motor skills to his advantage and left D in the dust when they were about to go outside and he could tie his shoes quicker. There was also this one time when he knew he was the only one who had graduated from "toaster use only" to using the microwave and didn't make enough french toast sticks for D...you know...that kind of stuff.

And then there's D...he's who many refer to as "that little one." Let's just say that he's cut from a different cloth. Although both of the boys are astoundingly brilliant, and are very astute, D is well...a little "different." He wears these cute little glasses that make him seem so adorable and innocent, when in fact, I've had to (a time or two) leave a slight hand imprint on those ever-running soup coolers of his! He has the mouth. He always reminds me when I am a word or two off from telling stories accurately; he likes to kindly tell people if they you know, have a "booger (which he refers to as mocos)," if they stink, or if they're mean, or racist etc.; he also likes to politely let everyone in the parking lot know when I accidentally drop a piece of unwanted paper...or napkin...or apple core or something.

I'll tell you, the boys are characters...different as night and day, but both possess many qualities that I had as a child/have, and it cracks me up!

W likes to express (very loudly-which I call "dry snitching") to D, "You know Mommy said we can't ride our skateboards down the slide!" and his center of focus is hanging out with his friends...with whom he shares a secret handshake...

While D likes to draw, and write poems, stories and books; and tries emotional appeal tactics to persuade me to buy Axe cologne for them because the commercial says, "It makes the ladies go crazy!"

Yep...those two are a riot. And I am announcing from this point forward that I will share little D and W-isms periodically so that I may give you all a glimpse of what REALLY keeps me going in this chaotic thing I call a life!

In comments, what do you think of the boys so far; share your own little stories about your little Bambino/as; and if I really go crazy, who wants to come with?