Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Just Another Manic Monday

Pamela, learn to hold your horses, or as Nina would say, "Patience little grasshopper," I had a meeting this morning. I was going to post this Friday, but didn't quite get around to it.

Anywho...

I love this list and have found it quite amusing over the years, so if you have seen this before, hopefully, you normally practice at least 27% of this list on a regular basis. If you haven't seen it before, I implore you, do as many of these as you can (in no particular order) within the next 48 hours.

Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can on Your Desk and Label it 'In'.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'.

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

In comments...NoR, I know you've done number one before...and you probably forgot your bra that day too! How many of you want to bet money that MrT has done numbers 2, 5, 6, 9, and there is a very strong possibility of number 12 as well? I am very tempted at present to do number 4.

21 comments:

NoRegrets said...

Who's this Pamela who has no patience? boy, does she need to learn a lesson!

I think if MRT had kids, he'd definitely do 19.

I have in real life done #2. The rest, I will put on the list of things I must do before I die.

Tera said...

NoR~You mean you don't know Pamela and you sleep with her every night?! Tsk, tsk tsk.

LMAO! I think you're right!

Damn, #2? Who'd have thunk it?! LOL!

M. Robert Turnage said...

You are right on with what I have done. And, yes, if I had kids I would probably do 19.

Here are some addendums.

6. When I was in college and had to write tuition checks, I would always write, "An gud edukashun" in the memo field.

13. I am known for mocking people at poetry readings for talking in a strange verbal cadence.

I ask them "WHY-do-you-TALK-like-thiiiiissssss?

Is-THERE-some-THING a-miiiiisssss?"

Tera said...

MrT~L.M.A.O!!!!!!!!!!!!

NoRegrets said...

Oh, MRT, #6 is priceless.

Oh, and I may know her in the biblical sense, but I don't REALLY know her.

Tera said...

Pamela~Doesn't he just crack you up? And thanks by the way, for clearning that up for us :-)

Churlita said...

I love that list. I'm cracking up at MRT. It's true, why do they talk like that?

Tera said...

Churlita~I know right?!

TRUTHZ said...

some of these are new but it's good to get a refresher from time to time... u left some of them off... it was one you were supposed to do in the elevator but for the life of me i can't remember what it was...i just remember that when i first got a list like this a couple of years ago, the weekend b4 i went to harlem to visit my cousin and when we got on the elevator i did it and the guy who got on with my family got off and said he would wait for the next one.. if i remember i will come back

Tera said...

Truthz~Welcome to P&P! You are absolutely right...I certainly hope you think of it, because that story is too funny! LOL!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

now i can get with nuber 4 and number 7 lol

Tera said...

Torrance~How did I already know that? LOL! :)

Nance said...

In your honor, I'm going to do #3 all day tomorrow at school.

Nance said...

p.s. My students routinely do #8, and I'm sure it's not because they've seen this list.

Tera said...

Nance~Yes, yes, do it, do it!

Nance~I'm sure of that as well. Sigh.

T. Michelle Theus said...

lol...I've seen this before but it still makes me laugh.

Alan said...

My first time seeing them, and I love them! Every single one! I love #2!! I would page myself and add "You sexy beast."

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

i can say me and number 8 go a long way back - u had me rolling thinking of u at the opera

T. Michelle Theus said...

lol @ alan's comment!

Tera, fyi I tagged you in my 12/01/08 post.

Tera said...

T~Girl I just LOVE IT!!

And I will make haste over to your place and accept my tag with pride!!! :)

Alan~Somehow I already have a visual of how that would go down...LOL!

Torrance~Really?! That's shocking coming from a writer...but apparently that's why they have Editors! LOL!

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I will actually try some of these just because I can...lol!!!