Friday, August 29, 2008

In the Name of Shit

Since I happen to be among many who love the word "fuck," I realized I shouldn't be selfish and have decided to pay homage to the word "shit" today. You may have seen this before but...well you can pretty much fill in the blank after you've read this post!

***Disclaimer...words and ellipses may have been added/omitted, bolded, capitalized and otherwise punctualized to add to/lessen the effect of various parts of this message...you know, just in case you give a shit.***

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD...Well, it's shit...that's right, SHIT!

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit,
...forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is...bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or...duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in...well...shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and...there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language!

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

You could comment, if you give a shit or if you don't give a shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........Well, Shit Happens!!!

19 comments:

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

LOL, this reminds me of Bernie Mac's use of the word "muthafucka" in The Kings of Comedy...that was some funny "shit."

Churlita said...

I like to talk a lot of shit, and sometime I live in a world of shit.

Thanks for your touching tribute to such a quaint little world.

rawdawgbuffalo said...

oh shit lol

Tera said...

BCU~Welcome to P&P! Girl you ain't neva lied! LOL!

Churlita~I aim to please!

Torrance~I second that shit!

Nance said...

I remember when George Carlin, may he RIP, did a great bit on the all-purposeness of this great lil word. I agree with you both!!

Tera said...

Nance~It is a wonderful, wonderful word! :)

heather said...

nance, i was thinking the same thing.
sounds like something george would say.
love it.
miss george. may he never meet a cross-eyed nun in heaven. :)

Tera said...

Heather~I'm glad I was able to create a moment for you two...that's some good shit!

Michael said...

That is some great shit.

dmarks said...

S.H.I.T.

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FR: MANAGEMENT
RE: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Tera said...

Michael~You got that shit right!

DMarks~LOL! Some of the best shit EVER!

T. Michelle Theus said...

LMAO! The shit all over your post and all that shit in your comments section has me over here laughing out loud =P

Tera said...

T.Michelle~That's some funny shit!

Cyber D said...

Since becoming a parent - and spending 90% of my life either at work or amongst my tiny tots at home (the other 10% commuting to and from)- the word "shit" has been far to absent from my vocabulary... and I do miss it so! Great post!

Tera said...

Cyber~Thanks...you just gotta love this shit!

Nina said...

nice.

Tera said...

Nina~I know...it's the shit isn't it?!

NoRegrets said...

I posted something about shit in your honor.

Tera said...

NoR~Fantastic!