Murphy's Law

I know that I have made this comment several times before, but seriously...my life has been in a downward spiral for the past....well, eleventy (thanks Nance!) days and I am truly exhausted, and probably on the threshold of being completely and utterly nauseated.

The boys...I swore all my life as a TRUE procrastinator, that I would of course instill the exact opposite trait in my children. Well somehow, it seems that procrastination is innate. So here I sit after nearly 4 hours of helping a 3rd and a 5th grader with Literature projects that they were not only given a month to work on, but are due...tomorrow!

D also seems to think that his bullshit chitter chatter is by far more important that anything trivial that his teacher may have to discuss, you know, such as Math, Science, or Social Studies, and W seems to think that since he completes his work and puts it in his desk that it will somehow magically fly onto the teachers desk avoiding the 10% late "fee." *Sigh*

So in dealing with all that and trying to decide on creative, yet effective punishments, I think I totaled my fucking car yesterday...yes, it was my fault, and I feel like a complete and total idiot, because I wasn't preoccupied with my normal distractions such as text messaging or talking on the phone---AND I had my glasses on! I totally didn't see the oncoming car as I bolted away from the stop sign to cross an intersection (in all honesty, I'm not sure if she had her lights on). Her little SUV has a dent on the driver door...her and her son drove away merrily after giving the report. And my car...well, it's TOAST! Pieces of bumper scattered about...headlights completely dislodged...driver door won't open...you know totally fucked (pardon my shitty language)! Please do not mistake my anger and selective Touretts, because by no stretch of the imagination am I an ingrate. The boys and I made it out of there safely, and other than being sore all over and slowly killing my liver with these new Tylenol (which are the epitome of ass kickery), I cannot complain...fuck that, I will...$500 deductible...right before Christmas...the car would have been completely paid off June 2008...now I face having to buy a new one--thus another car payment...ugh!

And to top all this shit off...when I got to work today, I fell down the fucking stairs in the parking garage...yes you guessed it...no carpet...all concrete.

In comments...who else's day is the frapping worst ever?!

Hodge Podge V

As I am sitting here indulging in my delightfully tasty "Everything" bagel and laughing at NoR's comment on my last post, I decided to go ahead and continue to sprinkle you...

Why must stupid people be allowed to roam freely among civilized human beings? I mean seriously...what is that all about? If I had $1 for every stupid person I have encountered in the past week, I would be well on my way to Hawaii...or to see Es in lovely Puerto Rico by now!

I have realized that I will be 30 next year, and I am going through such a random range of emotions that I can't even come up with a term for my....state of being. Is this a 1/3 life crisis (Shut it! I can be optimistic!)??? Why do I cry in the middle of my pedicure? Laugh at the helpless individual who tripped over something? And put a stop to the most wonderful sexual relationship I've had in my LIFE??? Something is wrong...something is terribly wrong.

You've just got to love those kids...W and D were successful at pulling off all A's and B's (of course D's would be O and S equivalents) however they SUCKED in the areas of Social Behavior and Work Habits!!! How in the hell do you pull off a punishment-reward??? I mean they have the best of intentions...even if nobody told D that the Goat Milk in my mom's refrigerator wasn't Egg Nog before he took a big gulp or that some Veterinarians actually do eat meat! Or even if no one has broken the news to Will that those batteries which are NOT stronger than Energizer are not "Every-day" batteries and he should learn to read more closely or that mom catching a whiff-of-funk and his having to wear deodorant now is not a "cool" thing. I've really got my work cut out for me!

I've lost 7 lbs. in less than a month which can totally be attributed to stress! The good thing is that my blood pressure is now under control....the bad thing is that I'm sure I gained every ounce of it back yesterday at the KFC All You Can Eat Buffet!

So what is a totally confused, sad-at-(most) times, over-worked, under-paid, (now) sexually frustrated, 29 year-old woman to do at a time like this?

To be continued...

Hodge Podge IV

I would like to first of all apologize to all two of my friends who may have been worried during my hiatus. I didn't mean to make you think I had been abducted by wolves or committed suicide (no matter how close I may have come) or anything, I was just (and still kind of am) going through some things. But nonetheless, I'm back and about to sprinkle you all with a little dab of this, and a little dab of that.

Voting yesterday...aaaahhhhhh! All of the political hubbub really makes my ass hurt in all honesty, but I vote because it's my civic responsibility to do so. The tax issues are what pissed me off this year...they want to expand the library system here. And the way I see it, they always "conveniently" tell you the nominal amount of like $.00035 that will be taken out of each check, but do you notice that as the years go by, they never STOP taking it? I'm sorry, but all that crap adds up, and taxes here are high enough, and I believe that regardless of that two-to-one "NO" vote...the library shit will still happen.

Flu shots...people are absolutely crazy and coming in droves for this shit! Don't we have enough dormant diseases-in-the-form-of vaccinations sitting in our bodies since birth??? I haven't had the flu since 1997 (knock on wood)...WITHOUT the damned shot...No thank you!

Some idiot decided that since I make a couple of quarters more on my new job that they would do the courtesy of doubling my before/after school child care bill. Mmm hmm, that's right! I make to much to qualify for the scholarship I had.............but damn it, now I don't make enough to cover the fucking increase!

Another good friend of mine and the family (from back home---in his late 30's) passed Monday night...Cancer. And another previously mentioned but until granted permission to do otherwise, never disclosed VERY good friend of mine from back home was just diagnosed with it.

Anyways, SHIT! This post is getting too long, so I'll stop here, but expect a Hodge Podge V soon...and very soon!

In comments.......oh whatever the hell ya feel!