Dream Lover

Okay Blogland...It is near the end of the fiscal year for us at work, so I have been busy busy BUSY, I apologize NoR, but after you read this post, it may serve as my chance at redemption :)

I have times before alluded to my clairvoyance, but never really go in depth. I am confused at times about what it all means and am often amazed at how my dreams tend to "come true." A few of my friends contend that I have "the gift," but I am still trying to sort it all out.

Well (and Gyuss, this may disappoint you) lately, I have been a bit upset with the IT Guy---for personal reasons, so I haven't been speaking to him for about a week now. You all know that I also made a vow of celibacy (which I recently...slightly...relapsed)...but I digress. I had a dream last night...

Pardon my candor Nance, but this was the most, passionate, erotic, intense, heated, wild, FERVENT exchange of emotion I have felt in YEARS! I tossed and turned...I moaned and shuddered. Finally the intensity built up to a point where to describe it as a volcano eruption would truly be an understatement...I woke up.

As I lay in my bed with a grin on one side...biting my lip on the other side---my body was weak, and I was in a total state of euphoria as I stumbled into the bathroom for my shower. My legs trembled and the feel of the tiny pricklies through my body coupled with the adrenaline rush totally consumed me...the IT Guy had rocked. My. World.

I had a presentation today...of course I was in high spirits and any negative vibe was totally deflected...I was on Cloud 9. As I exited the elevator, lo and behold, I nearly overhear the IT Guy telling a co-worker that he........................had a dream about me.

As I walked to my car...arm hairs standing erect and goosebumps scattered about, I wondered.

Upon my return to work, I was curious...damn, I had to break the silent treatment (which he probably didn't give a shit about) of the week...I IM'd him. His reply was, "I'm about to call you."

As he shared the details (which I begged not to hear descriptively) a certain Twilight Zone type of fear had taken over my body by storm...it was almost totally synonymous to MY dream...even the shower we took together. How could we possibly have pretty much the SAME dream, on the SAME night?

Now I ask you Blogland...what in the HELL is this all about?!?!?!

Spring Has Sprung

The firewall at work in all of its wonderful randomness recently blocked me from my blog...it took a little "sweet talking" and perhaps a smidgen of lip gloss to get said IT Guy to unblock me, but nevertheless...

That time of year has come...fresh "weather-" scented breeze, birds chirping, joggers jogging, kids at play, dogs walking their owners, oh and let me not forget...love...sweet love in the air. I don't know what it is, but something always ignites a little flame in me (either that or this damned vow of celibacy I've taken) and my hormones run wild.

Well I can no longer contain this burning desire...in all its intensity. I have a crush on someone. It comes and goes, but I have had it for about 2 1/2 years now (ever since I moved to Kentucky). I have never acted upon it. 10 years ago, my confidence was off the charts, and my ease and comfort with approaching men was at its all time high...not anymore. I'm not sure where it has gone, but I fear if I don't find it in me to do something, and something FAST, he may just slip through my fingers....

He works at my kids' school...he is the...ahem...Engineer of all things that must be mopped and swept. There is a certain charm about him. I guess the attraction grows more and more with my new found love for bald men. :) I have struck up a couple of conversations here and there because he adores my children and often times joins the Before and After School program staff in games of basketball or football with the children---they adore him too. Must I also mention he has a son who attends the program (who is a year younger than my Lil D). I found out from the kids that his son's mother died in a car crash years ago.

So...what's the problem do you say? I bitch up EVERY time I am presented the opportunity to utter the words, "Excuse me, are you single?" My guess is that he is with all the flirting he does with the women on the B&A School program staff which are only there ironically because of my repeated concerns (complaints) about the absence diversity among the staff! Is he interested in/attracted to me? I'm not sure, but he does smile at me an awful lot, and looks at certain "more defined" body parts that I possess.

I finally mustered up the strength to send him an e-mail yesterday...but due to the absence of a computer in his "office," I doubt he checks his work account...I also have not received a read receipt.

I need your help! What do I do next....?

It Takes Two

On the radio the other day, they were talking about Child Support. After the information was presented, callers were approaching the matter from two angles...one being no matter how much the single mother earned, the father should be held responsible for contributing his portion (and yes, they held that position for single fathers). The other stance was if the mother was making an amount of income substantially higher than that of the father, he shouldn't have to pay (and vice versa).

I never intend to come off as having a pessimistic view on relationships as a whole, but I must admit that in my decision to have my children, I did it with the expectation that some day I WOULD be doing it alone. And granted, both sides presented very valid arguments, so I was very tuned in and was for the most part able to agree with some of the points made in an objective manner...until one gentleman called, and in summary, this is what he had to say...

"I think that women should not have children if they are not able to support them on their own. I think they should have a financial plan/budget in place, and if adding a child makes their situation difficult, they should opt not to. And why does child support always have to be financial? I mean the father could be spending time with his child, taking him/her to the park and just being there...why does it always have to be about money? The bottom line women should allow the father to support the child on their own terms and not hone in on financial support."

So I turn to you all for feedback...what about those women who were married and/in a relationship that went sour, got separated/divorced and still has bills to pay? What if the father not only neglects to provide financial support, he also neglects to provide any other support?

-OR-

In the instance of say a woman (or man) who makes or inherits millions and clearly has more assets than the father (or mother), should she (or he) be entitled to support? What about the fathers who are placed in jail and/lose their licenses for non support...should they have to pay just to get back on track?

In most states, they add up both incomes and scale the contribution accordingly, for instance if one party makes 80% of the total of the 2, then they have to pay 80% of the costs for the child. Is that fair? Should it be 50/50?

I can tell you first hand that what they send for child support anyways doesn't light a match to what it takes to financially support a child. When you think about food, utilities, clothes, tuition, child care, activities, hair cuts, toys etc...those bill add up, and the measly $40-50 (on average) per week just doesn't cut it! Think about when it's time for a car and/license...college? Let's be real!!!

Your thoughts?

Hodge Podge VII

It seems that every time I set out to resume blogging on Matters of the Heart (as planned) a multitude of life events come crashing in, and I just need to release!!! So to all 2 of my faithful readers, please bear with me...

I heard snippets from a Reverend Manning (from New York)'s sermon on the radio this morning and this man stammered the most ridiculous and distasteful things I've ever heard from a man of the "the cloth..." he said that Obama's mother was (and I quote) "White Trash" and that he was a "long-legged pimp who pimps black AND white women," and on top of those comments made tons of hasty generalizations about the the Black race...downing men AND women! He also posed the question of how we could vote for Barack HUSSEIN (with emphasis---like that) Obama when the Clintons have done so much for the Black community. Now COME ON!!! Russ Parr totally stepped up to the plate and called him out on this, but it made me realize...he's not the only one giving "testimonials" for a little "peace offering" or "building fund donation," and how many of these Pastors abuse this power by manipulation??? Whatever happened to Separation of Church and State?

It appears that when you move south of the Ohio River, you are susceptible to sheer panic and utter ridiculousness when you see 3 flakes of snow! I mean we're talking about the entire city shutting down, people stocking up on groceries, and the salt trucks laying salt arbitrarily in little patches throughout the city, I guess in hopes that the wind will take care of the rest. I have never seen such! My travel time home on Friday was literally cut in half because the streets were clear...no pun intended.

Let's talk about pisstivity for a moment. My son will be 11 in April. The law says he can't be home alone until he's 12. Might I also add he is very bright, and EXTREMELY independent for a child his age. I'm behind on the daycare bill since the car accident in November (yes, for a child who is 2/3 of the way on the road to a driver's license), and they threatened to discontinue them. Now let me ask you this...those of you who participate in latch-key land...would I be wrong to let him try it? I mean the authorities may have something to say, but I wish a m!*%@%&$#@ would!!! My (honest) simple reply would be..."What do you have on the daycare bill?"

I had to pay $300 for D's dental work the other day...that's WITH insurance. I think that's all I have to say about that.

On a brighter note:

W has been accepted in the advanced program, and D lead his basketball team to victory in the semi-finals scoring the winning basket right before the buzzer. They won 12-11 (he scored 10 of those points---and don't laugh, they play 6 minute periods). They didn't win the championship game, but regardless, given they just made quorum right before the game against a team that had 6-7-8 year olds the size of Shaq, I think they did a helluva job!!!

In comments...what do you think about this? Anybody else pissed off today?

Will It Ever End?

My son's as you all know, have different fathers. I believe I may have also commented on the fact that although neither of them led a life that would characterize them as "upstanding citizens," but my younger son (Little D)'s father has, for the most part been BOTH their fathers. And although both of them have their shortcomings, I have (of course while holding my breath) been receiving child support for the past 3 years+, and regardless of Little W's father's random disappear acts, he finds comfort in knowing that Big D loves the both of them just the same...I digress.

Big D's past which includes several arrests, time in County, and time in the Penitentiary is not one he is proud of. And a few years ago when he and I decided to "give it another try," he had an epiphany---since that day, he has been working the SAME job (WITH benefits), has gotten his license, bought himself a car, and actually pays bills! Even though (and I blogged about this) he was with my friend of 13 years before I could even settle in Kentucky, I have to hand it to him...he has been doing quite well for himself...until this most disturbing recent chain of events.

Quite frequently, after his 2nd shift day ends at work, he and others from work who are members at a "private (for the purposes of avoiding the smoking ban) bar" head over there. They play pool, have an after work drink and just shoot the shit. Well, this day in particular, Big D happened to be the minority...in fact, the ONLY minority in the bar. Other patrons decided he was too loud, so a spat began. The spat turned into EVERYONE in the bar jumping him, and his friend who was with him (and tried to help him) was forced out, the door was locked, and the ass whipping commenced.

Shortly after Big D could no longer see, his face was all bloody, and his eye was swollen shut, the basic instincts of survival kicked in, and he pulled out a pocket knife and waved it frantically---blindly. 2 men were stabbed a total of 6 times, one in the armpit and I believe in the side, the other 3 times in the back, and once in the stomach. When everyone realized he had a knife, he was able to shake loose, unlock the door, and run...but by that time, the police arrived...he was arrested.

Of course the media being the fantastic, and most honest and objective people that they are printed an article in the local paper clearly stating nothing but "factual" information, all the way down mentioning that one of the "victim's" intestines were exposed. The information also included the "fact" that Big D was arrested facing 2 charges of felonious assault, the picture of his beaten and battered face was put in there (he was barely recognizable)---there was however no mention of the fight...other than it being those 2 men of course---there also were no statements made; there has been no follow up article---and no mention that Big D has been in the hospital twice.

I am one who most often gets upset when people make things about race, so I had to ask myself...what was this really about? If the majority had been the minority in this instance would others have been arrested? What do you all think?

Yet Another Meme...

Since I am sitting here waiting for roadside assistance, I decided to go ahead and kill time by doing this. My car has been running since 7:30 a.m. since these fancy ass new cars automatically lock when you shut the door I guess (and the other doors are/were frozen and locked too). In my frantic frenzy, I didn't think to call the insurance company FIRST before my dozens of friends and the car dealership, so now I wait...but I digress.

The Rules

1. Post these rules before presenting your list.

2. List 6 actions or achievements you think every person should accomplish before turning 18.

3. There are no conditions on what can be included on the list.

4. At the end of your blog, choose 6 people to get tagged and list their names.

5. People who are tagged write their own blog entry with their 6 suggestions.

6. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.

1. Uh, did it.

2. Acquire at least one good friend who will be there for you through thick and thin. Graduate from high school AND enroll in post-secondary education be it college, or some kind of trade school. Set at least 3 attainable goals for your life which encompass career, financial stability, and family. Do a deed for someone or your community---from the heart. Own something---whether it be a DVD player, or stereo...preferably a car...but have something to call your own. Lastly, make a mistake.

3. Great to know.

4. Since everyone has been tagged, I guess this does not apply...wait, Kofi were you tagged?

5. If you haven't been, have at it! I know you will have a great list of 6!!!

6. Will do!

Hodge Podge VI

Since the New Year has come in, I have hoped for brighter days and new beginnings. I am finding that this is certainly not the case in all aspects of my life, so I am going to give you a bit of the bitter mixed with a little of the sweet....

Income Tax time pisses the shit out of me! You have thousands of people rushing about to pay nearly $500 for a rapid refund on their loaded EITC checks (haven't seen one of those in YEARS...I think because I am over the limit by like $3.04 or something) so that they can go buy lemons that will break down on them in a month, rent furniture that will be repossessed by spring, and splurge on clothes and shoes for their kids that will fit for an average of 3 months!

D gets to go and race his Pinewood Derby car that he designed, crafted and painted for the District Title!!! He won first place in the race for the Bear Scouts division! Yay D!

I think W is tired of his saxophone. Totally in alignment with my better judgment I forbade him playing the flute, and this sax doesn't seem to really move him. I would really like him to give it longer than 6 months before quitting, so I am going to have to come up with a plan...stay tuned.

Remember I had to buy a car on December 8th as a result of totaling my car...which would have been paid off in June??? Well, there was a huge dent...okay maybe a ding, but the prior makes it much more intense...put in my driver door compliments of the BASTARDS who park in the garage where I work! That really makes my ass hurt!

I've been getting headaches lately, so my doctor gave me some happy pills because she thinks that they are migraines. I HATE to take stuff. I mean although I am a connoisseur of many alcoholic beverages, and have dibbled and dabbled with herbal refreshments a day or two in my life, that's as far as it goes for the mind altering substances for me. But one day last week, my temples were about to EXPLODE! So, against my better judgment, I took the shit...and MAN! All I have to say is why on earth would people be paying $20+ for the shit on the street, when they can get some legal stuff OTC?!

I have to drive home this weekend for not one, not two, but THREE baby showers (including Nina's), AND my sister's 8th birthday celebration!!! So as I fret about the weather, with gifts in tow for my 5 1/2 hour journey, you all enjoy your weekend and come back with a plethora of exciting news to share!